In The Glow Of The Streetlights!

“Dethatched? Is that how I look to you?”

Toko-senpai’s voice echoed quietly through the shadows cast by the streetlights.

“Yeah, very much so. You don’t act like a girl who just found out her boyfriend is cheating.”

When I replied, Toko-senpai looked back out the window.

“Earlier, I said Tetsuya is always at the center of the circle, right? But the truth is, Tetsuya is a very lonely person. He’s always at the heart of the group and has a lot of influence, so he doesn’t look it. It was only when I got close to him that I realized: there isn’t anyone who truly helps him when he’s struggling.”

Toko-senpai spoke flatly until that point, as if suppressing all emotion.

“That’s why I wanted to be the person who could support him during those times.”

Because she was suppressing her feelings, her voice sounded all the more filled with an overflowing sadness.

Kamokura, you absolute idiot! You have a girlfriend this wonderful, who cares for you this much, so why on earth did you cheat?!

I felt a surge of anger—not exactly jealousy, but something sad and frustrating.

After a moment, she let out a small, “Heh.” It was a self-deprecating laugh.

“What’s so funny?”

She didn’t answer my question, but instead said something else.

“Karen-san is cute, isn’t she? She’s popular in the circle, right?”

“But you’re beautiful, Toko-senpai. You’re famous for being the most beautiful girl on campus.”

If Karen was “Top 3 in the circle,” Toko-senpai was “Number 1 in the university.” They weren’t even in the same league.

But she said this:

“Beautiful… beautiful… ‘Beautiful,’ huh. Yeah, I’ve been told that since I was a child. ‘Toko is so beautiful.’”

“Weren’t you envied by the girls around you?”

“Maybe a little. But tell me, Isshiki-kun. If a ‘beautiful’ girl and a ‘cute’ girl were competing for a guy’s popularity, who do you think would win?”

I was caught off guard by the question. Beautiful versus cute? I couldn’t draw a clear line between them, but who would win?

“I don’t know.”

“Usually, ‘cute’ wins. I think what men look for isn’t just physical beauty, but a ‘cuteness’ directed specifically at them.”

“Cuteness directed at them?” I repeated, unable to grasp the concrete image of what she meant.

“Yes. Whether someone is ‘beautiful’ is subjective anyway. No face is liked by everyone. So, the most average face without flaws becomes ‘beautiful,’ right? In contrast, ‘cute’ appeals to the heart. It says, ‘Cherish me.’ I think it makes men feel like ‘I have to protect this girl.’ Don’t you think so?”

Now that she mentioned it, I felt like she might be right. “Beautiful” is an external judgment of how balanced someone’s features are—a physical assessment, in a sense.

In contrast, “cute” could be seen as an impression tied to emotion. When you find someone “cute,” it stirs a protective instinct; you want to make them yours.

Toko-senpai continued.

“Ever since middle school, people have said to me, ‘You’re beautiful, but…’ That ‘but’ part is the important bit, I’m sure.”

As she spoke, Toko-senpai turned her face toward the window again.

“I wonder if I’m just going to keep losing to ‘cute’ girls like this. I guess I’ll never be the kind of person someone ‘wants to protect’ for my whole life.”

“Toko-senpai, you haven’t lost…”

You haven’t lost at all!

I wanted to say that. But before I could, Toko-senpai spun around.

“I want to be cute too! But this is just my personality! I can’t change who I am now! This is the only way I know how to act!”

Tears burst from Toko-senpai’s eyes all at once. She sobbed like a child, making her usual mature demeanor seem like a lie. She covered her face with both hands, her entire body trembling. Sobs she tried to stifle leaked out.

Toko-senpai wanted to believe in Tetsuya Kamokura. That’s why she went through all this roundabout effort until now…

Both her self-esteem and her pride are shaking violently right now…

Toko-senpai has been holding it in all this time. She suppressed her own desire to cry just to encourage me…

She had been acting so tough, but she might have been hurting even more than I was.

“Toko-senpai…”

I spoke softly, like one would to a frightened child.

“I’m always being saved by you, Senpai. I was just leaning on you. So…”

I gently placed my hands on her arms.

“Just for today, please lean on me…”

Slowly, but firmly, I pulled Toko-senpai toward me. At first, she showed a faint sign of resistance, but then she slowly buried her face in my chest.

Just like that, she continued to cry, clutching my shirt.