The Female Knight Who Was Too Adorable While Completely Panicking At Her First-Ever Matchmaking Meeting

“Hmm…”

When I entered the captain’s office, Karen-san was staring down several documents in her hands, groaning with a bitter expression.

They weren’t internal workplace documents, but rather papers that seemed to have been sent from somewhere else. Karen-san never made this kind of face over work matters, so I supposed it was rather unusual.

“Captain, what’s wrong?”

“————”

Karen-san ignored me again. She was probably just that deeply troubled over something, but—

If she was so distracted that she didn’t notice me at all—well, I couldn’t help feeling a mischievous urge bubbling up inside me.

So, I moved right up beside Karen-san’s ear.

“Say, Captain… what… seems to be the matter…? Haa…”

“Wanyah!???”

When I gently blew a faint breath against Karen-san’s earlobe, she jumped up with a shriek unlike anything I had ever heard from her before. Adorable.

I had only done it on a whim, but perhaps Karen-san was especially sensitive around her ears and the nape of her neck? That was some valuable information.

“Hehe. Captain, you’re full of openings, you know? If this were a battlefield, you would’ve had your entire head taken off just now.”

“Would you like me to kill you instantly at an even greater speed first, you pervert!?”

Karen-san grabbed the greatsword beside her and raised it overhead, but in doing so, she dropped all the papers she had been holding.

“Hmm? Captain, what are these documents you just dropped? They’re full of photographs of well-dressed young men—”

“! Hey, Haru, don’t look! Give those back!”

What kind of idiot would hand them over just because she told him to? Even if I were going to obey, it would only be after I had thoroughly determined what they contained.

“Let’s see… Age—height—and then weight—current occupation… This almost looks like profiles for people you’re going to meet in an arranged matchmaking session.”

“Ugh…!!”

Oh, I hit the mark. Then again, most of the things that troubled Karen-san involved romance between men and women, so it was extremely easy to guess.

“Um… Captain.”

“I’m not telling you.”

“I haven’t even asked anything yet.”

“Your face is clearly begging me to tell you.”

Of course it was. An arranged matchmaking meeting meant my Karen-san (as I had unilaterally decided) was going to meet another man, you know? Obviously I wanted to hear every detail.

“Then why won’t you tell me? I’m so curious I can hardly stand it.”

“Because… you’re just my subordinate, so this has… nothing to do with you.”

“Muu…”

Karen-san was saying things like that again.

Even though she was the one looking at me with an expression that clearly said she actually wanted me to ask. This side of Karen-san was adorable, of course, but it was also a little troublesome.

“Puffing out your cheeks like that won’t change anything. In any case, hurry up and get to work! You’re scheduled to be away on an expedition all day today, aren’t you?”

“Gueh!?”

Karen-san kicked me hard in the back, sending me rolling straight out of the captain’s office as she got rid of the nuisance.

“Oww… Captain, you really are violent.”

Even while rubbing my still-throbbing back, I kept thinking about Karen-san’s matchmaking meeting.

“I guess I have no choice… If Karen-san won’t tell me, I’ll have to ask someone else.”

Judging from that reaction, this would probably be Karen-san’s first matchmaking meeting. There was no way she would agonize over something like that alone without consulting anyone.

And there was only one person Karen-san could confide in.

So, my feet immediately carried me toward the Royal Magic Research Institute, where that person worked.

During the daytime on an ordinary public holiday, the royal capital was overflowing with tourists and merchants and brimming with activity.

I was lying low on the rooftop of a building overlooking the lounge of a luxury hotel in the center of the royal capital.

“Hey there, Haru-kun. Sorry I’m late. Some sudden work came up—so, how’s our subject doing?”

“No change. She’s still in an extreme state of nervousness, Madeleine-san. At this rate, just as we predicted, it’s practically guaranteed to end unfortunately.”

Madeleine-san quietly sat down beside me.

She was both my source of information for this operation and an indispensable partner.

“Was it really okay to sneak away from your important work?”

“Don’t be silly, Haru-kun. How could I possibly work while abandoning this interesting entertainment?”

Chuckling to herself, Madeleine-san pulled a certain magical device from the pocket of her robe.

The noisy murmur coming from it originated from inside the hotel we were currently watching. Madeleine-san’s hastily prototyped magical device, “Eavesdropper No. 7,” which applied the principles of an eavesdropping skill, was demonstrating its capabilities perfectly.

With this, we would be able to record every detail of Karen-san’s first matchmaking meeting taking place in the hotel across from us. As expected of Karen-san’s best friend, her mad genius deserved praise.

“But why are you sneaking around doing this too, Madeleine-san? You’re the one who arranged Karen-san’s matchmaking partner in the first place.”

That was right. The person who had sent Karen-san those photographs of men was none other than Madeleine-san, who was now wearing a wicked expression beside me.

That made her one of the people involved in this matchmaking meeting—in fact, calling her a central figure wouldn’t have been an exaggeration. So why was she cooperating with an uninvited guest like me?

“Don’t misunderstand. I used my husband’s connections to find potential matches for Karen, but that is all I did. In other words, this time I’m technically an outsider.”

In other words, if what she said was true, someone else had actually planned this matchmaking meeting.

“Hehe, you look like you want to know who it is, Haru-kun. But nooope. I’m bound by confidentiality on that matter.”

“What? Come on~. Please tell me! Pretty please, Madeleine-san?”

“Haha, no means no.”

I showered her with as much cuteness as I could muster, but Madeleine-san didn’t even look flustered. Hmph. Karen-san would have faltered immediately… As expected, those tricks didn’t work on the far more experienced Madeleine-san.

“…If you keep going down this path, that person is definitely someone you’ll eventually have to face. Well, that’s all I can tell you for now. Look, it’s about time for the man to arrive. From here on, let’s take our time supporting our proud female knight’s first experience from the shadows.”

I immediately leaned forward and saw that a man was already seated at the table across from Karen-san. Judging from his clothing, he looked like the young heir of an extremely wealthy family.

“Hello. Um, you’re Karen-san, correct? My name is Jizz, and I work for the Baad Trading Company. It’s a pleasure to meet you today.”

“Y-Yesh. N-N-N-Nice to… meet you…”

“Ahaha! She’s going full throttle right from the start~. If this is how she handles a greeting, who knows how amusing… no, tragic the rest of this is going to be.”

If Madeleine-san laughed too loudly, there was a good chance Karen-san would discover us, so she desperately held back from bursting out.

Admittedly, seeing Karen-san now, that reaction was understandable.

First, there was her outfit. Since it was a matchmaking meeting, Karen-san had dressed up even more elaborately than she had for that wedding before, and she had apparently had her hair done somewhere beforehand as well. Instead of simply tying her long hair back as she did at work, she had pinned it up and adorned it with what seemed like every hair ornament imaginable.

If I had to give my straightforward impression, it was “obviously too much and ridiculously overdone,” and frankly, it didn’t suit her at all.

Who in the world had advised Karen-san to dress like that? That kind of outfit suited someone like Erluka-sama, the princess of this country, or that girl from White Cross—um, Whatshername Mulberry—with that sort of build. It simply didn’t suit Karen-san, whose body was lean, firm, and thoroughly trained.

“…You don’t look very happy, Haru-kun.”

“Of course I’m not. I mean, what is that? It’s like someone tried to forcibly cram Karen-san into the mold of an ‘ordinary girl’—when Karen-san has her own way of carrying herself that suits her much better.”

When Madeleine-san asked with a teasing grin, I spat out my dissatisfaction without bothering to hide it. As the self-proclaimed holder of a first-class Karen-san certification, I felt like storming into the venue and giving someone a piece of my mind.

“Come on, don’t be too harsh, Haru-kun. In its own way, that’s something that can’t really be helped because of 【parental concern】.”

“Huh? Parental concern…?”

“Come on, Haru-kun, focus on the conversation. Eavesdropper No. 7 isn’t perfect either. If you don’t listen carefully, you might miss the important information.”

Madeleine-san had dropped a very intriguing phrase, but apparently had no intention whatsoever of explaining it.

I couldn’t shake the feeling that this woman was here not only to observe Karen-san but also to watch my reactions. She truly was impossible to read. Well, since she was helping me, I supposed I could accept that as the price.

“I read your profile, Karen-san, and you’re incredible. To think you’re an active knight serving in the royal capital despite being a woman. I admired knights when I was a child too, but in the end I couldn’t even pass the entrance exam for knight academy.”

“Huh…? No, it’s really nothing that impressive.”

“It is impressive. I’m nothing but a humble employee at a trading company, practically just an errand boy.”

What was this man being modest about? According to the information Madeleine-san had given me beforehand, weren’t you the number-two man at the trading company run by Madeleine-san’s husband?

There was nothing more irritating than false modesty from a man who had both money and status.

The veins of an overworked, underpaid rookie knight like me were practically ready to burst.

“By the way, Karen-san, what kind of work do you do in the knight order? From the look of you, you seem quite well trained.”

“Huh? U-Um, well, that is…”

Even from this distance, I could clearly see Karen-san squirming awkwardly.

“I-I… work in rear support… I guess.”

“Pfffft!??”

At Karen-san’s words, Madeleine-san finally lost the battle and burst out laughing. Yes, of course I did too. The answer simply didn’t suit her at all.

“Hehehe… Where the hell do you find rear-support personnel with biceps like those? Even if you got assigned to rear duties, you’d just end up as a destroyer swinging a morning star around on the front lines.”

With all due respect, I agreed. In fact, that was the only image I could picture.

Incidentally, information about members of the Royal Guard holding managerial positions such as captain was not generally made public. Karen-san was famous as the female captain of Black Hawk only within the knight order and among people closely connected to it.

That aside, why had Karen-san told such a boring lie? Has someone instructed her to do that too?

Even the man was responding with, “O-Oh, really…” He was definitely thinking, There’s no way that’s true, Karen-san.

And after that, Karen-san continued to show—and let us hear—one disaster after another.

Perhaps she hadn’t had time to study table manners, because she became completely rigid while holding her knife and fork and could barely eat. On top of that, she was so nervous that she stuttered every time she spoke, forcing the man to ask “Pardon?” repeatedly.

Karen-san seemed to understand that she was making mistake after mistake, and she grew increasingly dejected as she somehow endured the rest of the meeting.

“Um… Karen-san. Thank you for giving me this opportunity today. I rarely get the chance to speak with someone from the knight order.”

“N-No… thank you as well. I hardly ever speak to anyone outside the knight order either… so I’m glad I got to hear about business and various other things.”

Apparently, this matchmaking meeting was more like a private introduction between the two of them without any chaperones, and after roughly an hour of food and conversation, it seemed to be coming to an end.

For Karen-san, a twenty-nine-year-old unmarried female knight, this had been her very first matchmaking meeting—
and the result seemed to have ended on a bittersweet note—or perhaps considerably more bitter than sweet.

As for Madeleine-san beside me, she seemed to have enjoyed herself immensely. This might have been a rather vulgar way to put it, but she was breathing heavily as though she had just finished having sex.

“Well then… Maybe I should reserve our usual bar. Karen will probably come crying to me afterward, going, ‘I knew marriage was impossible for me, uwaaaah!’ Oh, I’ll leave recovering the magical device to you, Haru-kun. Anyway, I have work, so I’m off.”

Looking completely satisfied, Madeleine-san stretched her body, tossed Eavesdropper No. 7 to me, and briskly departed with her white work robe fluttering behind her.

“I guess I should head back too. I still have all my afternoon work waiting for me…”

I tucked the magical device into my clothes and was just about to slowly leave when—

“Um—so, Karen-san. When can I see you again?”

The man’s voice slipped into my ears.

“Hweh!? U-Um… What did you just say?”

The man’s proposal had seemed completely unlikely until then, and even Karen-san herself sounded extremely surprised.

Those words instantly made my chest restless as well.

“Today was originally supposed to be just an introduction… and you seemed quite nervous too, Karen-san. So next time, I thought perhaps we could meet somewhere a little less formal…”

I immediately pressed the listening device against my ear and waited almost prayerfully to hear how Karen-san would answer.

Refuse him, refuse him, refuse him—

“U-U-U-Um…”

Karen-san’s agitation came clearly through the magical device. An unexpected invitation for a second meeting. A completely unforeseen approach.

“I… um, I—”

“—Thief! Somebody catch him!”

Before Karen-san could give her answer, an older woman’s scream rang through the hotel.

I immediately leaned forward to inspect the situation and saw that a thief who had apparently disguised himself as someone from the upper class had stolen something from a woman. In his free hand, he held a sharp knife.

Judging from the way he wielded it and the boldness of the crime, he was probably quite skilled.

But this time, there was no other way to put it—the thief had simply been unlucky.

“Stop right there—thief.”

Naturally, the person who stepped directly into the fleeing man’s path was Karen-san, pointing a table knife at him.

To an outside observer, she must have looked like an unbelievably reckless woman. In fact, even her matchmaking partner shouted, “Karen-san, that’s dangerous!” as he tried to stop her.

“There’s no need to worry, Jizz-san. A single toy is more than enough to subdue a thug of this level.”

“What the…?!”

The thief clearly took offense when Karen-san returned to her professional tone. No matter how trained she looked, she was still a woman. It wasn’t surprising that he flew into a rage.

“Don’t screw with me, woman! You think you can fight me with a damn table knife? Fine, give it a try. I’ll beat your ass, rip those expensive-looking clothes to pieces, and rape you right in front of that man!”

“Hmph. You bark loudly for such a small man. Enough talk. Come at me. I’ll teach you the difference between our levels.”

“You fucking bitch… Fine, I’ll kill you just like you wa—agh.”

The man never finished his sentence. Before he could, Karen-san shot forward like lightning and struck him squarely in the forehead with the handle of her knife.

“Forgive me, but my mood has been somewhat unusual today. I may have gotten just a little serious.”

The instant she incapacitated the thief and knocked him unconscious, a roar of cheers erupted loudly enough that I thought the magical device might break.

“Amazing, young lady!”

“Seriously! You looked just like a real knight!”

All I could hear were words of praise like those. I rarely had the chance to mention it like this, but Karen-san was genuinely an extraordinary knight. A battle-hardened veteran like her would never fall behind some petty thug of a thief.

“Karen-san…”

“Jizz-san. About your invitation earlier, I’m afraid I must decline. I’m very happy that you asked, but I am a proper knight entrusted with the front lines. It seems things like this simply don’t suit me after all.”

After refusing the offer of a second date, Karen-san returned fully to her usual professional manner, effortlessly tucked the thief under one arm, and walked out of the hotel.

Her tone left no room for argument, so it seemed the man did not follow her and simply remained standing where he was.

“…I guess it’s really over this time. I-I’d better hurry back and welcome Karen-san. I’ll need to prepare to hand that unlucky thief over to the guards too.”

Feeling just a little relieved that Karen-san had turned him down, I silently thanked Eavesdropper No. 7 for its work—it had been designed to destroy itself after use—and hurried away.

There was only one thing that lingered in my mind.

If that thief had never appeared, what answer had Karen-san been about to give? That alone left a prickling feeling lodged deep inside my chest.