The Female Knight Who Gets Drunk Because All Her Peers Are Married Is Too Cute

This was a tavern.

It was a place where men who had finished work cheerfully chatted over drinks, from complaints about work and family to dirty jokes. Usually.

“Pwaah~! Booze really is the besht~! Hey, Master, another one!!”

But among them, the person drinking with more gusto than any of the men present was my superior, the female knight Karen-san.

The table was already covered in large mugs, making it obvious that she had drunk quite a lot. At workplace drinking parties, she merely drank quietly and steadily, so it was rare to ever see her like this.

Oh, by the way, I had slipped into the place after disguising myself with magic. I looked like a distinguished middle-aged gentleman with elegant gray hair. Since I was underage, I was drinking hot milk.

Still, disguises are one of the essential skills for eavesdropping, aren’t they? Good thing I had gained plenty of experience with this skill at school.

“Seriously… You’ve got work tomorrow too, don’t you? Are you sure about this? Drinking this much is going to affect you tomorrow.”

“Ugh, shuddup. Are you lecturing me too, Madeleine? If I don’t drink on a day like this, then when exactly am I supposed to drink~!?”

The woman sitting directly across from Karen-san at the two-person table, looking concerned about her, seemed to be someone named Madeleine-san.

Judging from her dark-red robe, she was apparently a mage.

From the casual way they spoke to each other, it was probably safe to assume they had been friends since their days at knight school.

“Well, I can’t say I don’t understand how you feel, so I’m not going to stop you…”

As she said that, Madeleine-san took a certain letter out from inside her clothes. For a letter, it had unusually elaborate decorations. It looked like an invitation to some kind of celebration.

“Ugh… If I could, I’d yell, ‘Like hell I’m going!’ and slam it onto the floor, but being a knight captain means I have appearances to maintain…”

Karen-san picked up an identical one and glared resentfully at it. She really seemed to hate the thing.

“Man, I never imagined Karen would be the very last one among our classmates left unmarried. Back when we were students, people called you things like the ‘Sword Fairy’ and the ‘Silver Princess.’ You were popular, weren’t you? And yet somehow, even at your age, you’ve never dated anyone—a hundred-percent pure, completely untainted—”

“Stop listing everything! If you say one more word here, I’ll cut you down on the spot even if you are my best friend!!”

Karen-san excitedly drew her sword, but Madeleine-san remained completely unfazed and brushed her off with an expression that practically said, “Yeah, yeah.” This probably wasn’t the first or second time Karen-san had gotten like this.

“…Back then, I wasn’t interested in what you’d call romantic relationships. I was desperately focused only on sword training so the other men wouldn’t look down on me and say I was ‘inferior as a knight’ just because I was a woman.”

“Yeah, but still, being a virgin at twenty-nine is pretty bad. A virgin.”

“Y-You… I told you not to say that~!?”

Karen-san protested frantically at Madeleine-san. With her unfocused eyes, she glanced around nervously to see whether anyone had overheard. The other customers were all busy talking about themselves, so apparently they hadn’t heard—but sorry, I heard every word perfectly.

Well, I had more or less guessed as much. Though I wasn’t exactly in a position to criticize her myself.

“Hey, Madeleine, what should I do? I don’t want to go to the wedding! If I go, people will definitely whisper things like, ‘Oh, look, that’s the female knight who’s almost thirty and still single,’ and all those women from our class will lord it over me! Waaaaah!!”

Karen-san, who had suddenly become a weepy drunk, collapsed face-first onto the table and wailed. There was, of course, no trace left of the composed Karen-san I usually saw at drinking parties.

“Then why don’t you just bring someone as your partner to shut them up? I’m going with my husband too. You’re a knight captain, aren’t you? Surely you can force one or two of your subordinates to come with you.”

Madeleine-san was right. If she only needed someone to get her through the occasion, then bringing someone like me would solve the problem. I was fully prepared to perform admirably as Karen-san’s boyfriend. In fact, I’d be perfectly fine if it became real afterward.

But at Madeleine-san’s suggestion, Karen-san mumbled,

“I… don’t want that.”

“Huh? Why not? Just ask them to play along with the story. No one would figure it out. Even one of your muscle-brained subordinates should be capable of that much, right?”

“…If I asked, I think he’d probably come with me. It would be an order from me, after all. And I think he’d probably be good at that sort of thing too. But—”

“But what?”

“I… don’t want people saying things like ‘…con’ or ‘…sh…’ about us—”

“…Karen, what kind of person are you imagining bringing with you?”

Hm? Damn it, Karen-san was speaking so quietly that I couldn’t hear the important part. Ugh, frustrating. It looked like I needed to polish my skills even further.

“A-Anyway! Even if it’s only to pretend, I refuse to call someone weaker than me my partner, even as a lie! If there were someone among my current subordinates stronger than me… well, I might consider it…”

“Haaaaaaaaah~. What is wrong with this dried-up woman? You’re such a pain. Fine. Just keep rambling about your ideals, grow into a lonely old hag, and die alone. I’m going home. Good luck not getting mocked.”

“Whaaat!? Madeleine, no! We’re best friends, aren’t we? Don’t abandon me!”

Karen-san’s pleas echoed futilely into the night as she clung around Madeleine-san’s waist while the latter sighed heavily and tried to leave, and before long, morning arrived.

However, there was just one thing that bothered me in the end.

Who exactly had Karen-san been thinking of asking to act as her partner at the wedding? Once again, I was dying to know!