The Waiter Hides a Laser
32

Chapter 32

18 min 33 0 0

Tap the text to show or hide reading controls.

“I took the injured somewhere safe and came back.”
“Hm. I did wonder why I was a few short. Are they badly hurt?”
“Ah, n-no. Not badly, and….”

I stared blankly at Yeon Seo-ha as she talked with Moyong Bi, winding a lock of hair around and around. The one standing there wasn’t Yeon Seo-ha the Plum Blossom Swordsman, cold enough to freeze the petals off a spring day. She was an ordinary, bashful girl.

“….”

I couldn’t have said why, but it put me in a thoroughly foul mood.

What’s so great about that sadist who smiles while he beats people?

I had a sudden urge to announce Moyong Bi’s ugly true nature to the whole world.

“And just what do you think you’re doing in the sacred Ashen Sea Bamboo Forest?”
“Sacred? What’s sacred about it? Nothing but monsters crawling out all over the place. And it’s not the Ashen Sea Bamboo Forest, it’s the Azure Sea Bamboo Forest.”
“Is that what matters right now?”

I shot Moyong Rin a reproachful look for failing to read the room.

In any case, a Plum Blossom Swordsman, and the Glancing River Sword on top of that. With two masters present, the two families must have decided a monster attack was nothing to worry about, because they set about exchanging affectionate good wishes.

“Don’t come any closer. I think my nose is going to rot off.”
“Listen to you. Your lot don’t look any better.”
“Caught any monsters?”
“We’re tracking one. A monster a good twenty feet and more. You?”
“Hmph. We happen to be hunting a monster lizard over thirty feet long. It even breathes fire, you know?”

Moyong Gun-ak declared it with total confidence, and the Paeng lot flinched in surprise.

“…It breathes fire?”
“That’s right.”

The Paeng lot murmured among themselves. The Moyong Family kids wore triumphant looks.

“Liar.”
“You can check for yourselves later whether it’s true.”
“We’ve as good as finished our hunt already. Haven’t you seen a monster limping away?”
“We’re the ones who half killed ours the day before. All that’s left is to run it down and collect the corpse, you know?”
“That’s a strange way of saying you lost it.”
“And what about you lot? I doubt you’ve so much as seen a monster’s shadow.”

I listened quietly to the affectionate conversation passing between the families, and thought.

Ten feet is about three meters… so thirty feet would be nine meters?

“It’s surely not that big?”
“Thirty feet, my foot. I doubt it’s even ten.”

Moyong Rin clicked her tongue, tsk, tsk.

“Warriors, honestly. Put them in the same place and that’s what you get. Children, the lot of them.”
“As harmonious as ever.”
“My point exactly.”

I meant that about harmony, and I meant it sincerely. On the outside they were bickering with the veins standing out on their necks, but to my eye they looked glad to see each other.

I stood with my arms folded, watching them trade greetings through all that growling, then looked the Paeng lot over.

Looks like they’re a few short too?

They seemed to have taken wounded as well. As I studied them, my eyes met one of theirs. Paeng Dol-hwi. He hesitated a moment, then came striding over.

Moyong Rin saw it and warned me.

“Don’t fight.”
“Don’t worry.”
“How about putting away the thing in your hand before you say that?”

“….”

Nothing for it. I took the tetrahedron in my hand apart piece by piece and stuffed it in my pocket. Paeng Dol-hwi came striding up and settled in beside me as though it were the most natural thing in the world.

“….”

So we stood there side by side for a while, watching the argument without a word… and then Paeng Dol-hwi spoke up, offhand.

“Hunt going well?”
“Eh, so-so. You lot?”
“Same here, more or less. At least it doesn’t look like we’ll be going home empty-handed.”
“They said you were hunting something twenty feet long. Is that true?”
“It’s a fair-sized thing, sure. But not that big. You?”
“Same with us, pretty much. It’s big, but it’s nowhere near thirty feet.”
“Thought so. Breathing fire — that’s ridiculous.”
“Ah, the fire-breathing part is real.”
“…There’s really a monster that breathes fire?”
“It gave me a fright too. Thanks to it, five of ours went home wounded.”
“That’s rough. You should’ve been more careful.”

A bit of rummaging. I pulled out the griddle cakes I’d made for a snack.

“Want one?”
“I never turn down food.”

The moment the griddle cake was in his hand, Paeng Dol-hwi took a big bite out of it right where he stood.

“Mm.”
“How is it?”
“Outstanding.”

We ate our griddle cakes and watched the kids carry on their affectionate conversation for a while. They must have talked their fill, because the mood was turning toward parting.

“Go on chasing its backside all you like. We’re the ones who’ll win.”
“That’s our line.”

Even my heart warmed, watching them wish each other well.

When it came time to part, Paeng Dol-hwi held out his hand. The griddle cake that had been in it was gone before I knew it.

“A handshake, was it?”

He must have seen me shake hands with my griddle-cake friend, Ju Jeo-ha of the Mount Hua Sect. I looked down at his hand for a moment, then took it.

“Don’t see why not.”

Paeng Dol-hwi shook my hand, started off toward the Paeng Family, then suddenly looked back.

“Now that I look at it, that earring.”
“?”
“It suits you.”

I snorted a laugh, and Paeng Dol-hwi grinned.

“Still makes you look like a girl, though.”

With that he spun around and went back to the Paeng Family.

Moyong Rin blinked.

“…? What was that about?”
“What do you mean, what? We made up.”
“That did?”
“This is how men make up. Womenfolk with no romance in them could die and be reborn and still never understand it.”
“When one word of sorry would have done it.”
“Ahh, do you not comprehend? I pity you, ignorant of the sheer coolness of friendship.”
“Whatever. You’re hilarious.”

Leaving Moyong Rin snorting behind me, I stared blankly at Yeon Seo-ha the Plum Blossom Swordsman, exchanging parting words with Moyong Bi.

“Well then, I’ll leave you to it.”
“Yep! You too, Great Hero Glancing River Sword!”

“….”

“What. Something to say.”

The warm manner of a moment ago was nowhere to be seen; Yeon Seo-ha glared at me with a frozen look in her eyes.

Hey, why only me.

So unfair.


A while after we parted from the Paeng Family, the scouting party came back.

“Luckily it hasn’t got far. Only it’s turned savage. It’s making a wasteland of the bamboo grove.”

We went straight into a council of war.

“Couldn’t we hunt it the way we did yesterday?”
“That’ll be difficult, I think. It’s turned savage, and on top of that we’re five short.”
“What if the three of us join the attack in earnest?”
“And what about the flames it spits? It’s only because we kept it from breathing fire that the wounded stopped at five.”

We put our heads together, but the council dragged along getting nowhere. No clear way through presented itself. The crux of it, above all, was the flames it breathed. To keep it from breathing fire, somebody had to pin the head, and that left a hole in the attack; leave the head alone and it breathed fire, and there was no answering that.

A tail you can at least dodge. Flame is hard to deal with.

“Then what about tracking it slowly until it tires out?”
“We haven’t much time left. Counting the haul back with the thing in tow, we have to take it today.”
“What do we do….”

Deep in thought, Moyong Pae-cheon happened to meet my eye.

“Ah, Gwang-seon. How’s the ankle?”
“It throbs a bit whenever I move, but I’m fine. I can fight.”
“No, you sit this one out.”
“Sir?”
“You haven’t even got a sword. Were you planning to fight bare-handed?”
“Well, that’s true, but….”
“Stay quietly out of it. You did quite enough yesterday, running its eye through.”
“Aww.”

Listening in, Moyong Cheon-bung frowned and scolded me.

“‘Aww’? A grown warrior, saying ‘Aww’?”
“It is ‘Aww.’”

Moyong Gun-ak scratched his head.

“This is awkward. We’ll have to rethink it, six men down.”

I watched the council quietly for a while, then took a step back and looked around.

Huh?

The bamboo suddenly caught my eye.

They didn’t burn?

For all the fire the Firespit Lizard had merrily breathed the day before, the stalks were only lightly scorched, otherwise untouched. The only ones down were the ones that mace of a tail had swept away.

Because of all the water in them?

A good idea came to me.

This might just…?

“Big Bro Pae-cheon.”
“Hm?”
“I’ve got a good idea. Would you care to hear it?”


Sure enough, the Firespit Lizard had not gone far. It was angry, from the look of it, swinging its tail wildly and snapping innocent bamboo in half.

There was no need to look far for the reason. My Pork-Slicing Demon-Cleaving Saber was buried in one of its eyes.

Holding the sword formation carefully, we closed in, and then rushed it all at once.

“Now!”

— Cra-ka-ka-krack!

Most of them bounced off, but a few blades sank into the gaps between its scales.

— Kaaaak!

The Firespit Lizard went into a frenzy. Its rage must have shot up to the very top of its head, because the frill at its jaws flared open at once.

— Zzzzap—

The instant I saw the sparks fly, I bellowed.

“Shields up!”

At my shout, every one of them raised a bamboo shield. Moyong Pae-cheon had taken my suggestion up wholeheartedly, on Moyong Jin-seong’s advice that he listen closely to whatever Moyong Rin and I had to say.

— Fwoooosh!

The blazing flames swept over the swordsmen once, and they came through untouched. The bamboo shields had blocked the thing’s flames, and blocked them well!

It’s working!

Thrown together in a hurry, they were crude in places, but for one-time use they were more than enough. The thing’s most fearsome weapon was useless now.

“Ha ha, take the fire away and it’s nothing much, is it?”
“Kill it!”

Emboldened, the Moyong Family’s swordsmen went over to the attack in earnest. The three who had been holding the head switched fully to offense, and the fight got a great deal easier. As the wounds piled up, the rampaging Firespit Lizard slowed. That made it easier still to drive swords into the gaps between the scales, and now and then a stroke of sword qi loosed by Moyong Pae-cheon lodged in an opening and piled the damage on.

Before long, Moyong Rin’s last blow finished the hunt off.

— Crack!

With everything she had, she kicked the Pork-Slicing Demon-Cleaving Saber where it sat in the eye. The blade drove in deeper still, and the red glow coming from the other eye faded out.

At last it had stopped breathing.

“Did we get it?”
“We got it!”
“Waaah!”

The hunt had finally succeeded. Everyone hugged one another in delight.

“Well done, all of you.”

Moyong Pae-cheon decided we would head back with the quarry just as it was. In the end that was an excellent judgment.

Of course another monster would have been nice, but realistically it was too much to ask. Tracking this one and taking it down had eaten four days. How were we to catch a second in the time remaining? And even if we did, nothing guaranteed we could get back inside the deadline. Get greedy, come back late, and the whole thing’s a washout. On top of which we didn’t have the strength left to keep hunting; force it on and the wounded would come thick and fast.

Besides, the Firespit Lizard we had hunted was quite impressive enough as quarry. Well worth a run at first place.

Everyone was satisfied with the hunt.

Everyone but me. My purpose in coming here was not some mere monster hunt.

“Big Bro Pae-cheon.”
“Hm?”
“Might I ask you a favor?”
“Name it, whatever it is.”

Moyong Pae-cheon spoke generously.

“Your share in this was no small thing, Gwang-seon. If it isn’t difficult, I’ll grant you as much as you like.”
“Would it be all right if I went off on my own from here?”
“…What was that?”


In the end I managed to wring permission out of Moyong Pae-cheon. He refused flat out at first, said absolutely not. But who am I?

Moyong Gwang-seon, the man of persistence.

Stubborn persuasion won out, and the permission was mine. Several conditions came attached, but they were bearable.

“You be careful.”
“I know my own life is precious too, sir. Don’t worry.”

And so the Moyong Family kids fell in with the Paeng Family, whose hunt had likewise succeeded, and headed back together under Moyong Bi’s supervision. I watched the bamboo sledge haul the Firespit Lizard away, then turned around.

“If we’re going, let’s go quickly. If we want to be back inside the deadline we have to move fast. There’s no time.”
“You could have gone back with them, you know.”
“Hmph. It’s not like I stayed because I was worried about you or anything. Don’t get the wrong idea.”

I glanced at Moyong Rin, sulking through her retort, then turned my eyes on Yeon Seo-ha the Plum Blossom Swordsman standing beside her.

“Thank you, Big Sis Yeon. For saying you’d come along without a second thought.”
“Never mind that. Hurry up. There’s no time.”

Yeon Seo-ha answered in a chilly tone. I had told her I wanted to survey the entrance to the ruins.

“Do you even know where the ruins are?”
“No. That’s what we’re about to find out.”
“Haaah… What in the world am I to do with y—”

At that moment Moyong Bi, who had come up without a sound, dropped down between us. Yeon Seo-ha started violently.

“Great Hero Glancing River Sword? Did you forget something…?”
“I forgot to mention one thing to you.”
“Please, go ahead.”

A moment before she had been so damned cold; now Yeon Seo-ha the Plum Blossom Swordsman softened in an instant, like spring weather with the flowers starting to open.

Moyong Bi laid a hand on top of Moyong Rin’s head.

“This one is our Moyong Family’s little darling, Moyong Rin. Famed far and wide as the genius who follows after me.”

The corners of Moyong Rin’s mouth crept up. Being praised in front of the Plum Blossom Swordsman she admired had clearly pleased her.

— Pat—

Next Moyong Bi laid a hand on top of my head.

“And this little one is our Moyong Family’s hope and its troublemaker both. A student learning martial arts from this warrior.”
“A student? You mean a disciple, then?”
“Well, near enough. It’ll be a nuisance for you, but I’d be much obliged if you’d look after him.”

Yeon Seo-ha’s eyes went wide.

“A disciple of the Great Hero Glancing River Sword…? I had heard you took no disciples?”
“There’s always an exception. As with everything. One can hardly see a talent this brilliant and pretend not to have noticed.”

Yeon Seo-ha looked at me with eyes that said, That much?

She kept staring at me, as though she couldn’t make sense of it, and Moyong Bi said:

“Ah, for your information. This one has been at martial arts a bare month.”
“Whaaat…?!”

Moyong Bi snorted a laugh at her astonishment, unfolded the lightness arts, and vanished in an instant.

“Well then.”

Yeon Seo-ha stared at me with disbelief on her face.

“A month…? He’s joking, right?”
“Yes. The Great Hero Glancing River Sword was having you on. Didn’t you say there was no time? Let’s go.”
“Huh? R-right.”


We headed for the depths of the Azure Sea Bamboo Forest. The deeper in we went, the thicker the grove that closed in to greet us, so overgrown that it was dark as night in the middle of the day. A gloomy air hung over everything.

This was no ruin site like Phoenix Mountain, where nothing wandered but Ear Rats. Dangerous monsters roamed here, the fire-breathing Firespit Lizard among them. And naturally, the closer you got to a ruin site, the more of them there were.

“Keep your wits about you. From here on we have to be careful.”

For Yeon Seo-ha to say a thing like that, it must have been bad; in all the time she’d spent trailing after us she had never once told us to be careful. She too looked thoroughly on edge.

Without a word of complaint we killed our presence and trotted along at her heels.

“Um, Big Sis Yeon.”
“What.”
“Is there any chance we could go faster?”
“No. It’s dangerous.”

She answered flatly, then faltered and added an explanation in a considerably gentler voice.

“If we’re surrounded by three or more monsters, even I can’t guarantee your safety.”

That startled me slightly. Which was to say she could take out two or so monsters while still protecting us. No, wait: Yeon Seo-ha was thorough, thorough enough that she even ate her meals apart from us, and someone that thorough would be speaking to the worst case. So she had to mean at least three, and still keep us safe.

So there was a reason Moyong Rin kept thumping my shoulder about her being a Plum Blossom Swordsman.

Formidable skill.

More to the point, ever since Moyong Bi called me his disciple, the way she treats me seems oddly to have softened….

Or was I imagining it.

In any case, I decided to do as Yeon Seo-ha said.

And so, as we were edging carefully forward.

— Rustle—

A rat the size of a puppy came bounding out of the undergrowth, flapping ears as big as an elephant’s. It waved its forepaws at me as though glad to see me.

— Squeak!

Yeon Seo-ha, out in front, reacted at once. She spun, drew, and swung at the rat, fast as light.

No!

My body moved on reflex before the thought had even finished forming. I swung the silver wok slung across my back and barely managed to block Yeon Seo-ha’s sword as it came to cut the mini Ear Rat in half.

— Clang!

— Eeeeek!

Min Hui-seo, startled out of its skin, hid behind me.

Somehow this brings back the time with the Bursting Fist Demon.

Yeon Seo-ha stared at me, eyes gone round. Moyong Rin was staring too, startled, her own sword halfway out of its scabbard.

“…You blocked my sword?”
“Ah, Big Sis. It’s not like that.”

Luckily her question ran less to how I had dared block her sword than to how a greenhorn barely started in martial arts had managed to block it at all.

“You. Is it true you’ve been at martial arts a month?”
“Strictly speaking I think it’s getting on for two months now.”
“That’s the same thing!”

Yeon Seo-ha pointed at Moyong Rin, still frozen with her sword half drawn.

“Even that is tremendously fast for her age.”

“….”

“This makes no sense. Not being able to react at all, never mind draw, is what’s normal. Even Jeo-ha couldn’t have blocked it.”

Muttering something to herself, Yeon Seo-ha looked at me with trembling eyes.

“So the Great Hero Glancing River Sword wasn’t exaggerating. An incomprehensible talent. One that surpasses Ju Jeo-ha.”
“Be that as it may.”

I picked up Min Hui-seo, quivering away behind me.

The look in Yeon Seo-ha’s eyes went cold.

“Put it down. That thing is a monster.”
“I know.”
“You know?”
“This one’s been following us all the way from the Moyong Family. It’s even got a name.”
“It’s no ordinary creature. It appeared out of nowhere without a trace of presence. Pet monster or not, it’s dangerous.”
“This one isn’t dangerous. It’s a coward, too busy running away. Just watch.”

Even now Min Hui-seo was shaking away, too busy avoiding Yeon Seo-ha’s gaze to do anything else. The sight of it hiding its face behind those two great ears was pitiful.

Yeon Seo-ha gazed at Hui-seo for a while, then muttered as though dumbfounded.

“What kind of monster is this cowardly?”

I set Min Hui-seo down on the ground and said:

“Right, Hui-seo. Time to prove your worth. Think you could guide us to the entrance of the ruins?”

I said it while pulling out a scrap of metal. Min Hui-seo looked anxiously back and forth between the scrap in my hand and Yeon Seo-ha, then piped up as if to say, follow me.

— Squeak!

I talked as I followed Hui-seo.

“Our Hui-seo. Give it a chance, just this once.”
“…Its name is Hui-seo?”
“Yes. Min Hui-seo.”

Yeon Seo-ha let out a sigh, then took the lead and followed Hui-seo.

“Get behind me.”

Together with Moyong Rin, I followed Yeon Seo-ha, who was following Min Hui-seo.

Moyong Rin asked in a small whisper.

“Hey. How did you do that just now?”
“I don’t know either.”
“And why did you leave your sword and block with that thing?”
“…Yeah, why?”

Now that she said it, the question struck me too.

Why did I pull out the wok instead of the Pork-Slicing Demon-Cleaving Saber?

My body had moved on instinct before the thought could reach me. Like a long-standing habit.

I slung the wok back across my back and practiced the draw, as fast as I could, over and over. However many times I repeated it, it never came out as fast as it had when I blocked Yeon Seo-ha’s sword.

#32 Chapter 32

Reading Settings

Size
Spacing