The Waiter Hides a Laser
33

Chapter 33

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Our proud guide Min Hui-seo scurried through the bamboo grove, threading this way and that, leading us busily off somewhere. Every so often it looked back to check we were keeping up. It was doing it now. It stole a glance behind, met the eyes of Yeon Seo-ha the Plum Blossom Swordsman, and gave a start.

What a coward.

Now and again it would prick up its ears and stop dead, and every time it did, it would peel off to one side, as though it were going around something.

Is it going around the monsters?

The same question must have occurred to Yeon Seo-ha the Plum Blossom Swordsman, because she went off to check.

“I’ll be back in a moment.”

She unfolded the lightness arts and vanished away in that direction, and a little while later she was back.

“Well?”
“They were there, right enough.”

It must have picked the monsters up with those great ears of its own.

It happened a few more times after that, until Yeon Seo-ha, who had doubted Hui-seo’s ability, finally gave it its due.

“Its detection range is remarkable.”
“Our Hui-seo’s cracked, right?”
“Cracked? What does that mean?”
“It means tremendously impressive. It’s the word going round among young folk these days.”
“I see. Cracked… Noted.”

Yeon Seo-ha nodded along, perfectly serious. Moyong Rin stared at us, dumbfounded, but I paid it no mind.

“I’d heard Ear Rats have good hearing. But this one is exceptional even so. Quick, too. Some sort of mutant?”
“Probably?”
“How did you catch it?”
“You may well ask.”

How on earth had General Hwa Mu-hong caught a thing like that? The more I thought about it, the more astonishing it was.

All the same, Yeon Seo-ha did not let her guard down.

“Min Hui-seo. Any funny ideas and I cut you.”

— S-Squeak…

And so, browbeating our splendid guide Hui-seo as we went, we skirted the monsters and pressed on safely toward the ruins. Going the long way around to avoid them cost us more time, but it’s a hundred times better than losing our way or running into one.

We had braced for something desperately dangerous. Instead the trek to the ruins went on like a stroll.

We were swapping war stories about how we’d made the bamboo shields and taken the Firespit Lizard when a question struck me out of nowhere.

“You know, now that I think about it, that’s odd.”
“What is?”
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a murim warrior use a shield.”
“Well, no.”
“Why doesn’t anyone use them?”
“That’s… a bit cowardly, isn’t it.”
“Cowardly?”
“Who uses a shield? Taking up a shield is a warrior’s shame.”

Come now, a warrior’s shame is going a bit far.

“A coward, that’s what. You’d be a laughingstock in the gangho for years to come.”
“Is that true, Big Sis Yeon?”
“It is. What are you, a little girl? Who uses a shield?”

So the murim warriors’ loathing of shields was real after all.

“And in any case, for a master a shield is so pointless it’s actually in the way.”

What she meant was that a master can load qi into the sword, and once he does, the edge turns so keen that a shield is good for nothing. Like fighting with one hand tied, apparently.

“So rather than blundering about with a shield, you’re a hundred times better off practicing how to dodge. No cutting corners — concentrate on the sword. There are no shortcuts in martial arts.”

Stake everything on the point of the sword, is it….

In other words, rather than block clumsily with a shield for nothing, they go all in on the sword. Doesn’t that mean that if you can’t dodge, you simply get cut? It was as grim a thing as I had ever heard.

Murim warriors really do live on the edge of a blade.

“But still. For people who aren’t masters yet, it’s a good thing, isn’t it?”
“It is not. Lean on a shield and the point of your sword goes blunt, without fail. Better to be run through in a few places than to use one. Enlightenment comes when death is flickering before your eyes.”
“…”

Yeon Seo-ha would sooner die than block with a shield, and Moyong Rin nodded along as though that were the most natural thing in the world.

There really isn’t one normal person among murim warriors.

Another sigh escaped me. I felt like a man living in a village where every last person had one eye.

“But you used a shield well enough when we took the Firespit Lizard.”
“That’s different.”
“How is it different?”
“We were up against a monster.”
“Right, and how does that make it different.”

Moyong Rin went on flatly insisting it was different regardless, and I gave up and changed the subject.

“Anyway, what do you suppose the Paeng lot brought in?”
“Who knows. Theirs looked fair-sized too.”

The Paeng lot had thrown a cloth over their quarry to keep anyone from getting a look at it, so there was no telling what monster they’d caught.

“Sly devils.”
“My point exactly.”

Yeon Seo-ha, who had been listening quietly, put in a word.

“You threw a cloth over yours as well.”
“…”

I changed the subject.

“Come to think of it, we haven’t seen the Mount Hua kids at all.”
“You’re right. What monster do you suppose they hunted?”
“You don’t think they still haven’t managed a kill?”

Yeon Seo-ha let out a snort of a laugh.

“What’s funny?”
“The Mount Hua Sect will win this contest. If it ends as it stands, that is.”

She had seen the monster the Moyong Family hunted, and she had taken a rough measure of the Paeng Family’s as well. Neither was any pushover. So why was she so certain? She hadn’t even seen what the Mount Hua Sect had hunted.

“Why is that?”
“Because the Mount Hua Sect has him.”
“Him?”
“Who’s this ‘him’?”

The corners of Yeon Seo-ha’s mouth lifted.

“Ju Jeo-ha.”
“Ju Jeo-ha? You mean my griddle-cake friend?”
“That’s the one. Do you know what they call him?”

Moyong Rin and I traded a look.

“What do they call him?”
“The Monster Hunter.”


The fourth day drew to a close. We made camp in a safe clearing, put together a simple supper, set the night watch, and went straight to sleep. To call at the ruins and still get back inside the deadline, we would have to be moving briskly from first light.

I was first up to bat.

With my back to the campfire I gazed up blankly at the dense bamboo grove and the moon shining down above it.

— Crackle, crackle—

— Chirrup, chirrup—

The quiet sound of the campfire and the homely sound of the grass insects tickled at my ears. When I turned my eyes from the moon I could see the Milky Way flowing past and the countless stars shining inside it. They looked ready to come pouring down at any moment.

“…I’m a bit peckish.”

— Rustle—

I pulled out the griddle cakes I’d made, chewed away at them, and gazed quietly up at the night sky.

In truth, whether we won the contest or not made little difference to me. Of course I coveted the Purple Empyrean Pill and the gloves woven from Heavenly Silkworm Thread, but even if the Moyong Family won, those prizes would go to the big brothers and sisters who had done the heavy lifting on this hunt, and rightly so.

Granted, this personage did his bit too, running the Firespit Lizard’s eye through and hitting on the brilliant idea of making bamboo shields to stand it off, but it was nothing set beside the big brothers and sisters. They were the ones commanding and leading the party in any practical sense, and if those three hadn’t man-marked the Firespit Lizard to keep it from breathing fire, the hunt might well have failed already and we would be trudging home with the wounded in tow. Me putting out its eye only happened because those three sacrificed themselves, is what I’m saying. Besides which, in the last fight, the one where we actually killed the thing, I’d turned my ankle slightly and had my sword taken off me, so I was left out and never got into it at all.

— Dream and curse are bound up in one another. Go on and complete your fate. Should my Lord gain all of the constellations, what you intend shall be within your reach.

I fiddled with the star-shaped earring.

— Only — I pray my Lord will not forget my starlight.

It was as though Ishtar’s voice were reaching me.

For me this matters more than any Purple Empyrean Pill or Heavenly Silkworm gloves — more than anything else in the world.

My instinct was whispering as much.

What will be waiting for me at these ruins?

Half anticipation. Half worry.

No — this time, it’s ‘who’ will be waiting for me.

— Tap, tap.

I brought my hand down from the earring and tapped lightly at the ring. As I checked what was left of the battery, what had happened at the Phoenix Mountain ruins last time came back to me.

Last time at the ruins we lost our way, got shut in the maze and nearly starved to death.

Some system had to be in place to keep a ruin site from being explored easily. A different one each time. Every last ruin site.

To shut out intruders, just in case?

I had a feeling some kind of ‘trial’ was waiting for me.

What sort of trial will it be this time?

Once that thought was in my head I couldn’t just sit still. Whatever the trial turned out to be, preparing something had to beat preparing nothing. Griddle cake still in hand, I got to my feet.

— Squeak?

Hui-seo, glued to my side, cocked its head and looked up at me. Ever since I’d saved it from being killed by Yeon Seo-ha the Plum Blossom Swordsman, it had taken to acting markedly friendly.

“Hui-seo. You keep a sharp watch in case anyone else comes, all right.”

— Squeak.

So as not to wake the others, I went out to a clearing a little way off. With a griddle cake in one hand, I drew the Pork-Slicing Demon-Cleaving Saber and slowly unfolded the forms. I started with the Moyong Sword Art, moved through the Sword of Flashing Light and Parting Clouds, and went on to the Sword of Heaven and Earth, Sun and Moon. The forms flowed on naturally, wherever my mind took them.

I danced a sword dance under the moonlight.

Couldn’t I fire the laser weaker?

Ever since that day. That is to say, ever since the day I nearly died at the Smiling Ghost’s hands, it was a thought I’d had again and again. Not the full-power laser, fierce enough to be seen from miles off. A laser that at a glance would pass for an ordinary finger art.

When I fire the laser, there are times I think it’s overkill. Take the Smiling Ghost. Killing him can’t have needed that much force. I mean to fire one strong shot, but I tense up without knowing it, and that unconscious tension puts something like a wind-up into the motion, one my opponent might catch and dodge.

The way the Smiling Ghost did.

A clear failure on my part. But isn’t learning from our mistakes and moving on what we humans do?

I hadn’t been idle in the meantime, either. Every so often I would go outside and work the board on my palm, practicing firing the laser weaker. All that practice had won me a fair degree of control over the output, so now it’s time to put it to use in a real fight.

Before I knew it the sword dance under the moonlight had passed beyond the Moyong Sword Art and was moving into the Sword of Flashing Light and Parting Clouds.

Watching the Smiling Ghost dodge the laser last time taught me something. An enemy isn’t going to stand there and take it just because I’ve fired. Masters especially have this sixth sense of theirs, so hitting them isn’t as easy as you’d think.

So what’s to be done?

A feint.

Which is to say, I have to sell a fake. Trading sword blows up close, could anyone cope with a laser loosed at them out of nowhere at zero range as well? I say they couldn’t.

Selling a fake takes practice, because for someone like me, who has lived his life honestly, it isn’t an easy thing to try out of nowhere.

Before I knew it the swordplay had moved on into the Sword of Heaven and Earth, Sun and Moon.

Above all, it has to look natural.

I eased the grip on the hilt a little. Holding it slightly loose, I quietly raised my index finger. Dancing the sword dance under the moonlight like that, I swung the sword level.

Now.

— Vwip—

The laser fired from my fingertip. Compared with firing a full bar’s worth it was distinctly thinner, and the brightness wasn’t all that fierce either. Unless you were watching closely you would only wonder whether something had gone past.

But it’s just right. Exactly the degree I wanted. If it’s this faint even at night, then in daylight it would be harder still to notice.

I took a bite out of the griddle cake in my hand. Chewing away at it, I went over to where the laser had struck.

“Oh.”

A hole the size of a coin had been bored clean through the bamboo.

Put this into a leg or a shoulder and it shall subdue; put it into the head or the heart and it shall bring death.

“Not bad at all.”

I tapped the ring and checked how much battery it had eaten.

“About a fifth of a bar, then.”

Fire it five times straight and the force still wouldn’t compare with one proper shot, but it was far more efficient. Besides, I doubt there’s a murim warrior alive who could withstand a full-power laser. Even the Bursting Fist Demon couldn’t take it.

This much is plenty.

Among the monsters, though, I wouldn’t be surprised if there were one. Their bodies are hard enough that a blade won’t go in. Mysterious metal life-forms made up of hundreds and thousands of meteoric-iron fragments, aren’t they.

I raised my hand and leveled it at Min Hui-seo, watching from a little way off.

— Squeak?

Hui-seo, which had been clapping its forepaws at my smooth laser discharge, jumped out of its skin.

“Hui-seo.”

— S-Squeak?

“Let’s behave ourselves, hm?”

Hui-seo looked at the bamboo with the hole bored through it, then at the red light wavering at my fingertip, and nodded furiously.

— Squeeak…!

I couldn’t be sure, but it seemed to be saying, ‘I pledge you my loyalty!’

I hadn’t forgotten what this creature is at bottom.

Hui-seo is a monster.

It looks cute enough once you’ve been watching it a while, and thanks to the mistreatment it got from the Moyong Family’s old monster researcher it’s turned into a born-to-be coward, but whichever way you cut it, this is a fearsome monster that gnaws meteoric iron for its food. It’s like this now, but there’s no telling how it’ll be later.

I sheathed the sword and came back to the campfire. As I sat chewing away at my griddle cake, Hui-seo climbed onto my knee and fawned at me with everything it had.

— Squeak, squeak.

“That’s right, you little punk. I’m all you’ve got, aren’t I?”

— Squeak!

“I’m your Big Bro.”

And so, building up a cozy fellowship with Hui-seo, the fourth day drew to a close.


The fifth day.

“What’s this?”

We came upon a bamboo I had never seen in my life. No ordinary bamboo, either. This one was made of iron.

“Whoaa… they do say there’s all sorts of strange things near a ruin site.”
“I’d heard there was a forest of iron bamboo near the ruins here in the Azure Sea Bamboo Forest. So it was true. And I’d taken it for a tall tale.”

Moyong Rin exclaimed over the bamboo and fiddled with it, and Yeon Seo-ha watched her and nodded.

“We must be nearly there. So it really was leading us to the ruins.”

— Squeak!

Hui-seo flapped its ears as if to say, told you so.

“Then let’s get a move on.”

We were about to hurry on when Yeon Seo-ha checked herself.

“Wait. If a forest of iron bamboo is real, then….”

Her face turned grave.

“What is it?”
“I’ve heard there’s a terrifying Warden in the Iron Bamboo Forest.”
“A Warden?”
“I don’t know the details myself. All I was ever given was a warning never to go into the Iron Bamboo Forest.”
“Who told you that?”
“Our sect leader. He said he went in out of curiosity in his younger days and barely got out again.”

Younger days or not, though. The sect leader of the Mount Hua Sect, of all people, barely got out again?

Yeon Seo-ha warned us in dead earnest.

“Don’t touch the bamboo, whatever you do. And if you run into it, don’t even think of taking it on — you run, no exceptions. Understood? No exceptions.”
“Yep.”

Moyong Rin had been fingering a bamboo leaf, and she snatched her hand back in alarm.

“You didn’t pull a leaf off, did you?”
“I did not!”
“Looked like you did.”
“I didn’t! Honestly!”

We teased the aggrieved Moyong Rin for a while, then put Hui-seo out in front again and pressed on toward the ruins.

We would never have found this without Hui-seo, would we?

The Iron Bamboo Forest was as good as a maze. The iron bamboo had grown tall enough to pierce the sky and thick enough to blot it out, and packed as it was it made a wall in itself, which pushed an already bleak atmosphere to its very limit. I was on tenterhooks the whole way, expecting that thing they call the Warden to come bursting out at any moment, but I trusted Hui-seo and pressed on.

And then, a good while into our wandering through the Iron Bamboo Forest.

“Huh? Isn’t that the Three-Point Gate?”
“Found it!”

At last we had found the entrance to the ruins.

“Hui-seo, you little marvel.”

— Squeak!

Hui-seo had carried out its mission splendidly, so I gave it a scrap of metal and heaped praise on it, then went up close to look the thing over. Yeon Seo-ha glanced uneasily around her and chivvied me along.

“Seen enough?”
“No.”
“When you’ve seen enough, look sharp and let’s go.”

I’m trembling.

I laid my hand against the center of the Three-Point Gate.

— Vwooom—

[Synchronization data 98.9% match. Entry permitted.]

— Krrrik— clack-clack—

“…Huh?”

Yeon Seo-ha’s roving gaze stopped in one place. Her eyes went wide at the sight of the Three-Point Gate standing open.

“You… how…?”
“It just sort of happened.”

I shrugged and made to step through, and no footsteps followed. When I looked back, Moyong Rin was staring at the place, thoroughly frightened.

“Ah.”

It came to me too late. Last time we went in, we had been shut inside and nearly starved to death. From where Moyong Rin stood, the gate might well look like the maw of the god of death. It’s frightening enough to look at as it is, and as I recall, even that time she only went in because the Smiling Ghost had chased us and there was no choice.

Why did I assume she would follow me in as a matter of course?

I gave a bitter smile and turned back around.

Was I still living in old memories? Pathetic.

I walked in through the Three-Point Gate alone.

#33 Chapter 33

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