Chapter 22

Even as I spoke, I felt like I was being incredibly picky, but it wasn’t out of fussiness—it was simply inevitable, given the nature of the hallucinations I was dealing with.

The Saint fell into thought for a moment before opening her mouth.

“It isn’t impossible. But it doesn’t seem like the right method for you, so I’m hesitant to even bring it up.”

“What is it? Just say it.”

She spoke in such a monotonous tone that it sounded like she was just reciting words for the sake of it.

“You could receive divine protection.”

…I see. Honestly, that sounded even more unrealistic to me than transplantation magic. Perhaps she noticed my skeptical expression, as she added.

“Alternatively, there is the method of receiving a lower-level blessing prayer through someone who already possesses divine protection, like myself or the priests.”

The arrival of the Master was truly just around the corner. Although it had been delayed by three years due to unforeseen events, I could feel in my bones that the time had finally come.

Unlike before, however, I had no Count, no avatars of the Master, and no lackeys to handle the menial tasks. That meant I had to prepare everything for the Master’s descent all by myself, which made my future look a bit grim.

Fortunately, thanks to the fact that the Master had made me absorb the avatar that had already consumed the Count’s soul, I now knew things I hadn’t known before.

I had also thoroughly steeped the Lallanne territory—which I had unintentionally ruined—with the Master’s aura, creating conditions that would make his descent much easier.

I had also long since adjusted the summoning circle that would serve as the coordinate anchor.

While it was cumbersome having to handle every single step by myself, I certainly didn’t feel the same sense of hopelessness I once did.

That sense of ease likely came from the realization of what it meant to “see as much as you know,” rather than just seeing things visually. I no longer feared the gods as much as I used to.

A few days after successfully completing the Master’s ritual of descent, I left the place that had been nothing but dark winter for so long. Everything outside looked beautiful. If I hadn’t had a purpose, I would have broken out of that cold place years ago.

“Meriel! Oh my god!”

I hugged Anne as she came running toward me. She burst into tears, saying she had been so worried ever since she heard the news that something bizarre had happened in the Count’s estate. At the same time, she was angry, asking why I had only arrived now.

I patted Anne on the back, assuring her that I was fine and that she didn’t need to worry anymore. My father and step-brother also showed signs of concern, though they looked a bit awkward. I told them, too, that I was alright now.

After the Lallanne Count’s family collapsed silently along with their territory, their assets scattered across the lands were reportedly placed in the care of the state. With my father’s help, I began the process of reclaiming those assets. I was also obligated to undergo an investigation regarding what had happened in the Count’s territory and what the state of that land was currently.

I decided to find a small residence in the capital and live alone. Anne suggested I move back into my childhood home, but I refused, citing that I had been married for a long time and my surname had changed, so living separately seemed appropriate. I felt that merely visiting my family occasionally was enough.

Another day, I received an invitation from Helen, my fellow Saint candidate. I had been disappointed that I hadn’t been able to see her after we met once before. I felt grateful that she had been the one to reach out and welcome me.

When I was leaving after tea time, Helen held my hand tightly and said, “Come visit again next time.”

In her gentle expression and the way she held my hand with some firmness, I could read her intention to encourage me. She was truly a warm person.

“I would be happy to, if you invite me.”

After leaving the Zaranz estate, I wandered around the shopping district. Had I ever been able to wander around entirely as I pleased after I got married? I didn’t think so. Even if I had, it was so long ago that I couldn’t remember.

Perhaps that was why even just looking around was so much fun. It was evening, with the sunset painting the sky, as I made my way home. I recognized the figure standing in front of my gate at once. The person noticed me, too, and greeted me first.

“Hello.”

“Hello.”

I responded with the same greeting. Felix then gave a smile mixed with a sigh.

“How did you find out where I lived?”

“I heard the news and looked into it.”

I glared at him slightly.

“That’s a bit much.”

“Yeah. Be angry.”

Felix nodded, saying he was willing to be scolded by me. I gave a playful snort.

“Angry? I should call the city guards.”

“Then I’d have no choice but to be dragged away. If I reflect on my actions, will you settle this?”

“Well. I don’t think you’re capable of reflection.”

As I stood with my arms crossed, pretending to be troubled, Felix narrowed the distance and asked, “Then what do I have to do for you to forgive me?”

I looked up at him in silence for a moment. Compared to our slightly playful conversation, his expression as he looked at me was quite serious.

I quickly turned my head away and walked past him. As I was about to open the gate to go inside, Felix said urgently, “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t know what you’re apologizing for, but fine. I’ll accept it.”

So, I hope you leave and take that burden of guilt with you. I closed the gate and went inside the house.

I thought I had wrapped things up well with Felix, but he was at my house again the next evening. I asked him, “Do I need to report you to the city guards?”

“I’d prefer you didn’t, but if you think you must, then I have no choice.”

“You came to apologize yesterday. Why are you here today?”

“To see your face.”

“Is that so? Here, look.”

He seems to miss the old Iel quite a bit, so I guess I’ll be kind and grant his wish. Since he came all this way, I stood on my tiptoes and stuck my face out so he could see to his heart’s content. He stared at me blankly for a moment before suddenly leaning in close.

Before his lips could touch mine, I quickly lowered my heels and stepped back to avoid him. Felix hesitated and glanced at me. I stuck my tongue out at him and scurried inside the house.

And the next day, I seriously considered whether I should actually call the city guards. If I told them there was a suspicious man in front of a widow’s house, they’d probably come and haul him away.

I stared at him through narrowed eyes, then sighed.

Being kind is a crime, a real crime.

“What’s your excuse for today?”

“Iel.”

“Why?”

I decided right then that I wouldn’t care whether he called me Meriel or Iel. Seeing how fox-like he was acting, if I showed that I cared about such things, he would immediately use it as a ploy.

As expected, Felix seemed unsettled, showing signs of impatience as if he hadn’t gotten the reaction he wanted. Seeing that made me feel very satisfied, like I had won again.

Haha! Who do you think you’re dealing with?

I tilted my chin up, looking at Felix with great confidence.

It was as if I were asking with my body, “Is that all you’ve got?” Felix wiped his face with one hand and then looked at me with a troubled expression. I thought that look was a bit sexy, but I quickly looked away and tried to walk past him before I could get tempted. This time, Felix didn’t seem willing to back down, as he grabbed my arm to stop me.

The pressure of his hand wasn’t strong, nor was it weak—I could have shaken it off easily, but I was curious about what he was planning, so I let it be for now. Felix licked his lips and spoke in a slightly unconfident tone.

“I want to be with you.”

I looked at him, then suddenly glanced at the air. Then I looked back at him and asked, “Did you eat something?”

“…Huh? No, not yet today.”

His speech slowed slightly. At that moment, I felt like I knew what he was thinking. But I hadn’t said it on purpose. I just thought he looked tired and wondered if he hadn’t eaten. Having said it out loud, I realized it was the same thing I had said to him once before. Hiding my embarrassment, I said, “Let’s go in. I haven’t had dinner yet, either.”

I brought Felix inside the house. He was the first guest in this house, but I didn’t tell him, fearing he’d get all full of himself.

I seated him at the kitchen chair and prepared a meal. Back when we lived together, we were often in this same dynamic. Felix once told me he liked watching my back while I cooked. Thinking about it now, I realized that since we had this same setup when I was a child and had brought him home to cook for him for the first time, maybe he had said that with that memory in mind.