Chapter 21

“Look at my hand.”

I massaged my numb left hand and held it out before Felix’s eyes. It was just untied, having been bound so tightly that the blood had drained out and left it white. The hand, which had only just begun to see blood flow back into it, was entirely bright red and very hot.

However, Felix felt absolutely no guilt.

“It couldn’t be helped.”

He said that if he’d tied me up loosely, I might have slipped free. Then, he added that since he himself would have become anxious, it was better to have taken proper precautions from the start to maintain our mutual trust.

It wasn’t wrong, but it was so annoying that I wanted to hit him just once.

At first, he had resisted so much, but as the number of times we went out increased once or twice, it was visible on the surface that Felix’s life satisfaction was rising. As that happened, I, too, could become more certain in my belief that he had to live in the world outside the barrier.

Warm sunlight, human relationships woven like spiderwebs, entertainment, abundant food, green plants, and colorful flowers. All the other good things in life.

Everything was absent in the current Lallanne territory. Above all, this place would soon be trapped in a rift between dimensions.

Thanks to the Master, I became an existence on a slightly higher dimension than a human, even if not a god. I went through the process of “soul expansion” for his sake, and until that was finished, I was mostly in a dazed state where I didn’t feel awake even when I was conscious. I only came to my senses after it ended, and only then did I realize belatedly that everything in the Lallanne territory had been ruined.

I decided on the usage of this land back then. Since it was a land where only I remained anyway, there was no one left to oppose me even if I decided as I pleased.

From the moment I decided on this land’s purpose, the Lallanne territory was no longer a place for ordinary people like Felix to stay. This place is dead land.

Even so, I was certainly glad to have met Felix. I had become so fond of him that I had even tried to be a little greedy, knowing we would have to part ways someday. Fortunately, I am only grateful that Felix rejected me before my feelings grew deeper. That way, my lingering attachments wouldn’t be too great.

From about the thirtieth time Felix went out, perhaps because he gained a certain degree of trust in me, we modified the condition to open and close the barrier through signals rather than through my binding him. And ever since then, I had willingly opened the barrier whenever Felix’s signal appeared, as if to repay his trust for about ten more times.

Eventually, the time came when Felix had to be away for a few days for mercenary work. I waved my hand lightly as I saw him off. And with this, I decided to make it our final farewell.

If he had treated me as an entirely different person, a more amicable parting might have been possible. I would have explained it so he could understand and persuaded him to live his own life.

But he couldn’t give up, showing even the slightest possibility that I was a tiny fragment of Iel.

He would have constantly hurt his own heart, clinging to the vain hope that perhaps, someday, the real Iel would return.

I wish for Felix not to live like that.

Sometimes, there are people you must abandon even though you absolutely cannot do it on your own strength. In such times, it is correct to help them from the side so they can abandon what they must. So, I will help Felix abandon Iel.

Because, in any case, his Iel can never return. If he absolutely cannot acknowledge the current me as Iel, it would be better to express it as her being dead.

If he wishes, I am fine with remaining just Meriel. Since I alone know who I am, I won’t bury myself in unnecessary sadness or anxiety and end up hurt.

F.

Whenever Iel left me, I had always felt discarded. On one hand, I could resent and hate her purely as an emotional underdog.

But this time was a little different. This is probably purely my fault.

Because my sensitivity couldn’t help but accept the sense of incongruity I felt every time I saw her, I made her leave on her own.

Why did I do that? Couldn’t I have lived a little more dully?

To calculate what I did wrong… well, it feels like I did everything wrong.

And it’s shameless to ask her to return while being like this.

No, I couldn’t even say that because I had to know where she was. But I no longer know her whereabouts. Because the land where she was, along with the barrier, had disappeared entirely.

The ground was cut away very cleanly, as if someone had scooped out pudding with a ladle.

At first, when I saw this scene, a hollow laugh came out.

Wow, something like this is possible too.

…Is she human?

I realized the difference in scale anew once again. I wondered if this was truly a level that an ordinary person like me could follow. I wondered if I had been running until my legs tore apart, trying to chase someone I couldn’t possibly follow until now, and I found myself reflecting on myself for no reason.

At this point, shouldn’t I just be reborn?

I sat down in the grass and stared endlessly at the trace where the massive land had disappeared.

Rustle.

“Felix.”

“…What. Is it you again?”

My bad feelings had been neutralized quite a bit due to her casting a shield prayer during the last barrier intrusion, but I still didn’t welcome this meddler.

The Saint stood upright beside me and said.

“I need your help.”

“Use your words properly. I don’t work for free.”

“Then let’s call it a request this time as well.”

“Aren’t you tired of doing that every time?”

“Because I believe there will come a day when you will provide pure help.”

“Save the nonsense for when you’re sleeping. Or rather, the Temple has plenty of money, so why are you trying so hard to save on labor costs?”

“Because service is an act that can erase karma in itself. I only hope that the weight of sin becomes lighter for at least one person in this world.”

“Pick one—are you a fanatic or a con artist?”

“I am only sad that I cannot help you understand today, either.”

“Just talk about the request.”

“The thing we were concerned about is scheduled to finally happen. If left as it is, the world will be swept up in a war of gods and become a sea of fire.”

“So?”

“Before that, I plan to completely separate the human and divine dimensions. Please lend a hand in that task.”

“What’s the offered price?”

Although I only used the Saint as a go-between, this was a request from the Temple, so the monetary units were large. Plus, this time the scope was very wide, so a bonus was added. I nodded and said I would give her an answer in a few days.

The Saint turned away after saying she looked forward to a good answer. I called out to stop the Saint with a question that suddenly popped into my mind.

“Hey, Saint.”

“Yes.”

I pointed at the trace where the land had disappeared and asked.

“Something like that. Is there a way I could do it, too?”

“It depends on the case.”

“Is there a way, or not?”

“Like I said, it depends on the case.”

“What do you mean?”

“If what you desire is pure physical power enough to split the earth, it is impossible. However, if it is earth-splitting using mysterious energy, it might be possible.”

“I don’t have any talent for that.”

“Then you could receive help from someone who does have the talent.”

“Like with an item or something?”

“That’s not wrong, but what I’m talking about is transplant magic.”

In that moment, the memory of nearly dying absurdly flashed through my mind, and I shuddered on my own.

“Ah, that! I nearly ended my life! It was incredibly dangerous!”

I had accepted it just once out of curiosity after being told it could be a trump card and be useful. And while I was working, that transplant magic caused side effects, and my body nearly tore apart just like that.

Fortunately, when I came to my senses, the magic had dissipated, but I remember pledging never to receive transplant magic ever again because it was a dizzying experience even thinking about it now.

Come to think of it, I had met Iel again at the inn I went to to recover my body at that time. Actually, I had received that transplant magic illegally, so I had been ailing and relying on natural healing, refusing even a doctor in case any problems arose.

I really thought I was going to die, but at that time, I was saved because Iel nursed me well. I owed Iel a debt of gratitude back then, too.

I felt depressed again as soon as I thought of her, but I tried to soothe my heart and listened to the Saint’s words.

“Because of that danger, you must entrust transplant magic to an officially verified mage. Also, there must be a limit on the magic usage time and the transplant maintenance period. That’s how you can prepare for an unforeseen runaway accident.”

The Saint said that there were also types of magic that could not be transplanted without special permission. As I listened, I felt that the official procedure seemed quite systematic, but perhaps because of the memory of nearly dying, I instinctively resisted it.

“Is there no other way besides transplant magic?”