#60: Chapter 60 — Walking on the Sky

Leonis saw me off personally all the way to the entrance. I returned home in the carriage borrowed from the Count’s estate. The house was empty, but since it was still daytime, it didn’t feel particularly strange.

Of course, when I opened the front door and he wasn’t there, I felt a momentary sense of disappointment. Still, daytime was naturally a time for each of us to be active and out. Wishing for him to never leave my sight was just greed. So, even if I felt a little lonely, I could manage this much on my own.

However, Felix’s demeanor from the morning weighed on my mind. If it were merely a dip in spirits, he would recover soon, but I worried whether he was carrying some sort of concern.

I sat before the bedroom table, opened the lid of the wooden box, took out one of the scrolls, and unfurled it gently.

The content of the first scroll was a standard prayer for the household. It was a relatively short prayer meant to ward off illness, accidents, and misfortune. It was mostly content that wives would look into to pray for the well-being of their family. There was nothing particularly special about it, but since I’d unfolded it, I read it through once before rolling it back up.

I unfurled the second scroll.

“Oh.”

‘Before crossing the gate, I abide.
Before the sun sets, I abide.
Just before falling into sleep, I abide.
Even before calling your name, I abide.’

A declaration of state, then. This one seemed worth reading.

As time passed, I was reading the fourth and final scroll before I knew it. Suddenly feeling like my eyes were dim, I looked up to find my surroundings had darkened. I must have been too focused; it felt as if the sun had set all of a sudden. I left the unread scroll on the table and rose. I went out to the living room and put my back to the dining table. I checked the wall clock. It was a little past six.

It wasn’t a late hour, but because it had already grown dark outside, I found myself waiting for Felix naturally.

Was he eating out? Would he be as late as yesterday? Had he suddenly become busy with work like last time?

I clearly told you I wouldn’t stay out overnight today and that I’d come straight home after studying. I began to feel a bit offended. I think he’s changed.

I opened the front door and went out into the yard. While swaying my body left and right with my hands behind my back, I suddenly stood on tiptoe and stretched my neck out. Of course, that didn’t help me see outside at all.

The night air was a bit chilly. Staying out in light indoor wear, my body soon began to tremble. I stared longingly at the gate for a while before returning inside.

“Achoo!”

I sniffled lightly and layered a coat over my clothes. I grabbed a lantern and headed back out. I would wait in the yard until he arrived.

If Felix was very late again today, I would press my cold skin against him to make him feel guilty. I would break this habit early on so he would never be late without a word again.

With such thoughts, I sat on a chair placed in a corner of the yard and waited endlessly. However, Felix did not return at all that day, and I fell ill with a feverish flu from my own trap.

“Ugh….”

Even with a mind clouded by illness, I could think. It was obvious that something had happened to Felix while I was away. What was it? Did he cheat on me? Was that why his attitude was subtly strange that morning?

‘—I abide.’

I clearly warned you to be honest if your heart changed, so why didn’t you keep it?

Ah, my head hurts. I don’t know if I’m hurting because of the flu or because of Felix.

‘—I abide.’

“Cough…! Cough!”

When I opened my eyes, the ceiling, already blurry, spun in circles.

I’m dizzy, I want to sleep, and I’m even drowsy, yet I can’t actually fall asleep.

‘—I abide.’

With a feeling as if I were dying, I gasped for air and thought.

But, what date is it today?

How long has it been since I drank water?

‘—I abide.’

Iel’s words—that she would return straight home after finishing her study—only made me hesitate all the more. Perhaps it would have been easier if I had been in a state of not knowing when she would return.

In the end, I didn’t sleep at Iel’s house that day; I slept at my own. Then, after being unable to settle down for the entire next day, I headed to Iel’s house in the evening.

I felt the sense of dissonance the moment I crossed the front gate. For some reason, the air felt thick. Sensations this strange usually mean that mystical energy is at work, so I became tense automatically.

First, I checked the magical items I was carrying and then took careful steps.

I hope nothing has happened to Iel.

I opened the front door. And the moment my foot crossed the threshold, I felt a pressure so intense that the hair on my entire body stood on end. However, that sensation vanished quickly, leaving me bewildered.

Just then, a voice that sounded like groaning came from the direction of the bedroom. It wasn’t in a seductive sense, but a voice that sounded like she was truly in pain. The moment I realized the fact that even her breathing sounded fragile, as if it might stop at any moment, I pushed off with my feet in a hurry.

“Iel!”

I should have opened the door as if to break it and dashed into the room. But I was still in front of the entryway, and I began to break out in a cold sweat as the reality dawned on me. The distance to the bedroom wouldn’t narrow. The door, merely three steps in front of me, was out of reach.

“Iel!”

“Haa…. Haa….”

“Iel!”

“Ugh….”

No matter how much I called, no response came back. It was a voice that sounded so clear to me, so why couldn’t my call reach Iel? I couldn’t know if she was simply out of it from the pain, or if I was being hindered by something.

“Iel—!”

I reached out my hand toward the door that wouldn’t get any closer even though I ran until I was out of breath. Just a little, just a little more! I tried falling over, rolling, doing everything I could, but I couldn’t reach Iel.

It felt as if I were being punished for agonizing over Iel’s existence for the past few days. It felt as if the world were declaring to me that a wretch like me didn’t even deserve to reach out to Iel.

I was wrong! I’ll never do it again! Please forgive me!

“Iel!”

I called her name until my throat felt like it would burst, but I was still standing in the same spot.

The sound of her breathing sounded as if she were dying.

“Haa…. Haa….”

Is this hell?

I thought blankly while listening to Iel’s breathing leaking out from beyond the door.

Four days since then. I am still standing in front of the entryway, arms hanging limp as if I have no strength to even twitch a finger. The heart-wrenching feeling of the first day passed through despair and has now become hollow.

Is this really reality?

Is it not? Iel hasn’t taken a single step out of the bedroom for days. If it were reality, she would certainly be thirsty and hungry. She just groans.

Could it be a dream after all? I let out a dry laugh without realizing it, then quickly became numb again.

What if she just lacks the strength to move? What if she’s just dying right now? Even though I’m here right now, Iel is alone.

“Ah—!”

I writhed in pain as it surged in my chest once again. I wrapped my hands around my head and hunched over deeply. The tears I thought had dried up in a few days dripped onto the floor once more. I’m sorry. I’m sorry!

“Iel…!”

I miss you.

Just as misfortune occurred because I hated you, could this also be a phenomenon that occurred because you didn’t want to see me?

If that’s the case, what must I do for you to forgive me?

“Fel….”

I snapped my head up. At the first call I’d heard, I lunged forward wildly, only to slip and fall at the distance I still couldn’t reach. But I immediately used both arms to support myself and raise my upper body.

“Iel! It’s me! I’m here!”

At that moment, the air turned comfortable, as if things that had been frozen were finally flowing again. I remained stiff for a moment at the sudden change in flow I felt on my skin, then soon came to my senses and stood up. I ran straight to the bedroom. This time, I could open the door and enter immediately without any feeling of being dragged or distanced.

“Iel!”

I ran toward the lying Iel and collapsed to my knees by the bedside. I swept her face with my hands and checked her temperature by touching her forehead. It was burning hot.

“Thirsty….”

At Iel’s words, I ran to the kitchen and brought water. I lifted her upper body, brought the cup to her dry lips, and let it flow in little by little.

“Haa… refreshing.”

I hugged Iel tightly, who said with a weary face that she had been so thirsty. Iel leaned her face against my shoulder powerlessly and asked in a cracked voice.

“When did you come?”

“I just came.”

I swallowed the urge to sob as I answered. Iel said in a slightly pouty tone.

“What were you doing coming just now?”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m late.”

“Are you going to be late without a word again?”

I shook my head rapidly and promised I would never do it again.

“I’m only forgiving you this time.”

You hear me? she threatened. I kept nodding my head repeatedly while still hugging her.

“Fel.”

“Yes.”

“…Call a doctor for me.”