What I Can Do For The One I Love (1)

Chapter 1: Prologue

The stench of blood filled the air.

It felt as if the world itself had been painted red.

In fact, my left eye had turned red from the blood trickling down my torn forehead.

The crackling of flames sounded menacing, as if they might swallow me whole at any moment.

Somewhere nearby, a scream rang out.

It was pure hell.

The massacre happened in an instant.

Intruders who broke in at midnight seized the Pacula estate.

They killed everyone they saw.

Arms and legs were severed, waists stabbed, necks sliced by merciless blades.

The desperate, shrill screams faded away quickly.

With every escape route blocked by the flames, there was nothing anyone could do.

In the middle of that sea of fire, I sat motionless.

Swallowing hard, the bitterness spread across my dry mouth.

It was disgusting.

While the world around me was drenched in death, I could still feel life surging through my own body.

Suppressing the urge to vomit, I forced myself to swallow it down.

Before I knew it, my hands, crusted with dried blood, were trembling.

Maybe my entire body was shaking.

Every time a new scream broke out, my body jerked in response.

Though the sound was all too familiar, it struck me harder now, maybe because of everything happening tonight.

Because today was the day you returned to this place.

“There you are.”

At the voice I missed so desperately, my gaze snapped over.

Dark, midnight hair drifted through the smoke.

Blue eyes that didn’t show the slightest emotion, even in this suffocating chaos.

He was a man now, grown, hardened.

Helcion Riatris.

“I’ve been looking for you.”

Step. He came closer.

Step, step. Even amid the carnage, his footsteps rang clear.

He held a long sword in his hand.

Blood dripped from the blade, leaving a trail wherever he walked.

His armor was stained red, the white and crimson blending in a strangely beautiful way.

Sweat beaded on his brow, revealing just how exhausting this had been for him.

In his empty blue eyes flickered a fleeting mix of elation, emptiness, and the faintest thread of guilt.

He was the very picture of an adult.

No, a hero. The one who would be celebrated for destroying a family of monsters and saving this world.

My savior.

I clasped my trembling hands together and faced the judge who had come carrying death.

“You’re not even trying to run. What are you doing here?”

“I was waiting.”

“For what?”

“The end.”

“…”

“The end of my life.”

My voice drifted out, dazed and thin, almost like a sigh.

As if echoing my own words, memories flickered through my mind.

The day I was born, destined for love, yet learned murder before affection. Every hellish moment, this wretched life clinging on by stealing from others.

Ah, was this that life-flashing-before-your-eyes thing people say happens right before death?

I really was no different from a demon.

So many lives in this place vanished at his hands, but they too had survived by turning their backs on death countless times.

It was an ending no one should pity.

And now it was my turn.

“I’ve been waiting for the end of this damned life.”

Soon, the bloodstained tip of his sword would end it.

He looked down at me with cold indifference.

His sword flashed, as if he’d pierce my nape at any second.

Just the sight of that icy blue blade sent a chill of fear through me.

I was terrified.

And yet, I was ecstatic.

This was the moment I had longed for, the moment I had dreamed of, the moment I had waited for.

“At last, you’ve come to show me mercy.”

I smiled, feeling pure joy as I gazed at him, at the one who would finally give me ‘death’.

“I’m glad you avenged your family.”

“…”

“Thank you.”

For not forgetting me. For keeping your promise. For coming to kill me.

Gratitude welled up, and my smile grew even brighter.

His blue eyes, reflecting my face, seemed to waver for just a moment.

Maybe it was just my imagination.

I closed my eyes, waiting for the mercy only he could grant, the one who came to avenge his stolen family.

“You’re the daughter of a hated enemy, a monster, a blight upon this world.”

“…I know.”

“It’s humiliating that someone like you saved me.”

“I know that, too.”

“I wanted to kill you every moment.”

“Then don’t drag it out, just kill me.”

I was glad my voice didn’t tremble.

I didn’t want him to know how nervous I really was.

I hid my shaking hands, clasping them tightly out of his view.

Even without saying it out loud, I knew better than anyone that my very existence was a curse.

“But… I won’t.”

What does he mean?

Even now, with everything on the line, I focused on him, not wanting to miss a single word.

Even at the edge of death, every sense was attuned to him.

“I don’t want to kill you anymore.”

What?

Suddenly, agony exploded in my abdomen.

I collapsed, unable to even scream.

My vision flickered, like a candle guttering in the wind.

When I pressed trembling fingers to my stomach, blood slicked my hand.

My mind was on fire.

The pain of torn flesh was so intense I nearly passed out.

Before I realized it, I was crawling away, dragging myself across the floor in a desperate, pathetic attempt to escape.

And yet, I let out a laugh.

I’m dying. At last, I can die!

Even if my tongue or limbs were severed, even if my neck was cut and blood spurted everywhere, I’d still be smiling.

I clutched at the pain, feeling a twisted sense of joy.

Clang…

Something crashed to the floor.

Through my blurry vision, I saw a sword lying abandoned on the ground.

Before I could even ask why he’d put it down, strong hands grabbed my upper body and hauled me up.

My stomach stretched, and pain shot through me again.

I stifled a scream and instinctively grabbed at the hand gripping my collar.

When I forced my eyes to focus, I saw Helcion.

His expression didn’t change as he looked at my sweat-soaked face.

I struggled to breathe through the pain, fighting to keep conscious.

My stomach throbbed, burning, but this alone wouldn’t kill me.

I just wanted him to end it quickly.

My vision blurred again.

“H-hurry, k-kill me.”

“…”

“I said, kill me!”

My scream was desperate.

In silence, he pressed his other hand over my stomach.

The pressure made me gasp for breath.

His blood-soaked hand brushed my temple, then cupped my cheek.

His calloused fingers slid under my eyes.

Oddly, the gesture was gentle, completely at odds with the situation.

“Razella.”

Even now, even here in this filth, the sound of my name in his mouth was always sweet.

“Razella.”

Reflected in his blue eyes was the face of a woman twisted in pain and confusion.

His breath brushed my parted lips.

For just a split second, time seemed to stop. He looked down at me, a self-mocking smile flickering over his face, as if he might cry.

“I just told you, I don’t want to kill you anymore.”

“W-what?”

“I want you to live. I want you to remember this day, alive. Remember it, even if you don’t want to. Even if you try to erase it, you can’t. Let this humiliation cling to you like a ghost, so even if you want to die, you can’t. Feel the shame of survival. Just as I have.”

Before I could even process what he meant, his hand slid from my cheek to grip my forearm.

Suddenly, his chest was right in front of me, and my body was jerked up and swung over his shoulder.

My world spun, now the floor was above my head.

He was carrying me.

“W-what are you doing?! Put me down!”

“Shut up.”

He brushed off my protests like they were nothing.

I squirmed, but the movement twisted my wound, and I whimpered.

My strength gave out.

He started walking.

His strides were swift but somehow careful, as if trying not to make a sound.

He didn’t care that my blood was soaking into his armor and shoulder.

In my fading vision, I saw the sword left behind on the ground.

It bore a familiar insignia.

Wasn’t that the cherished sword of his original family?

It was precious to him, but he’d abandoned it without a second thought.

He really had chosen not to kill me.

Death was slowly retreating.

This can’t be.

I was supposed to die here today.

I should’ve been punished by the judge who came to avenge his precious family.

Every last member of this family, who survived by feeding on others, was meant to disappear tonight.

That was the prophecy.

And I had waited for this moment.

That sword should have pierced my throat at any second, but my body wouldn’t move.

I could feel his warmth where he held my waist, making sure I wouldn’t fall.

That warmth had always made me weak, ever since that day long ago.

It was humiliating.

There was never a time in my life when I didn’t feel ashamed.

But the most humiliating thing of all was the relief I felt at the thought of seeing him again.

You always make me feel ashamed.

I’m terrified you’ll find out about this sin, loving you.