What I Can Do For The One I Love (7)

Before the boy could raise his voice, I warned him again.

“I’d do anything if I can keep you safely hidden. I don’t mind if you don’t talk to me.”

“…”

“And right now, there’s no one else here, so you can come out if you want.”

But even with my words, the boy tried to crawl back under the bed, as if he was done here. I’d told him it was fine, but he ignored me again. I was so used to it that it didn’t bother me anymore.

“Gah!”

I woke up at a loud noise. In an instant, a blade flew and struck next to my face. My pillow was ripped, stuffing spilling out. Then suddenly, a strange man collapsed toward me.

I sat up, feeling the weight, and saw the boy standing there, panting. Only after noticing the glass shards scattered from his feet to the bed did I roughly understand the situation.

“Are you okay?”

“Why are you asking me that?”

He was oddly annoyed at my question, but I looked him over anyway. Besides the broken glass vase, he wasn’t hurt. Even his hands were fine.

He glanced at the collapsed man and asked,

“Do you know him?”

“…Mister.”

“Mister?”

I looked down at the man’s face.

“He used to be the gardener here.”

He looked thinner and much more exhausted than I remembered, but he was definitely the gardener I’d often seen in the garden. His gentle face and honest nature were always so out of place in this mansion. I’d heard he suddenly quit a few months ago.

“Why did this man try to kill you?”

“Who knows.”

Did he have older children? A wife? Other family? I ran through pointless thoughts. I felt like I could now guess why he’d suddenly quit.

“He was a kind man…”

He truly was kind. Hardworking, upright, a good person who never fit in here. I hoped he would be happy somewhere else… but now, he was gone. The gentle man who used to smile at the little lady and hand over thorny roses every day… he was gone.

“Is he dead?”

“No. Just unconscious.”

“You saved me. Thank you.”

I smiled and thanked him, but the boy frowned.

“I didn’t mean to.”

“Still, thank you.”

You’re really kind. When I said that, his face twisted up.

“Don’t say gross stuff like that.”

“It was a compliment.”

“Don’t compliment me!”

“All right. Anyway, it’s fine now, so go back inside. I’m going to call someone to clean up. Someone might come if they heard the noise.”

I hesitated, but there was no other choice. I couldn’t just leave the gardener here while hiding the boy. I couldn’t persuade him either.

It should be fine. After a brief hesitation, I reached out my hand.

“Are you always this calm?”

I paused, about to pull the bell cord, and turned to the boy again.

“Someone just tried to kill you… why aren’t you surprised?”

“You tried to kill me too.”

“…”

“I’m used to it.”

It wasn’t my first time dealing with something like this. Plenty of people had tried to kill me. Even if not me, there were plenty who wanted revenge on the Pacula family. Someone coming at me with a knife was normal. Worse things happened all the time. I’m sure Jayden and Jacob have had similar experiences.

So even when the boy rushed at me to kill me, it surprised me, but it didn’t fluster me. I’d seen worse before… if anything, I was just caught off guard.

“This much doesn’t bother me at all.”

When I was really young, I was scared and cried, not knowing why people did this to me. The servants would comfort me with kind words. But after I understood why these things happened, it stopped scaring me. I just accepted it as a normal part of life.

The boy stared at me in silence. I grabbed the bell cord and continued.

“Go back in now.”

“Are all monsters like you?”

“I don’t know why you’re asking, but probably not? I get called a freak a lot.”

I’m probably the only one who feels guilty about wanting to eat and is desperate to die.

He went quiet again. I motioned for him to go back under the bed and pulled the bell cord.

A few minutes later, the servants entered. They looked from me to the gardener lying on the bed, but said nothing. They checked that he was still unconscious, then hoisted him up, bowed to me, and left. The others swept up the broken glass.

I stopped the servant carrying the gardener and said,

“When he wakes up, just let him go.”

“That’s not something we’re allowed to decide.”

“I give you permission. I’ll take responsibility, so just let him go. Or just dump him outside… he’ll find his way.”

“…”

“Please.”

The servant said nothing, just bowed once and left. I stood there a while even after the others finished cleaning and left, and the door closed.

Walking to the bed, I whispered down below.

“It’s fine now, go back to sleep.”

There was no answer.

When morning comes, yesterday leaves no trace. Everything quickly returns to normal, as if the uproar never happened.

I touched the sheet absentmindedly, and a piece of glass I hadn’t cleaned up pricked my finger. The sharp pain reminded me that yesterday wasn’t a dream. I sucked the beading blood and lowered my head. It was quiet under the sheet. Maybe he was still asleep.

The maids came in and dressed me, and I went to eat breakfast in the dining room. I also brought back some simple food for the boy.

“It’s just me. You can come out.”

After a moment, the bedsheet rustled and his small face peeked out. I set the food down, and he hesitated before coming out. I could see him debating whether to eat or not, but hunger won.

This time, he ate obediently. I watched him for a bit, then stood up.

I went to the sofa by the window and opened the book I’d left unfinished. I could feel his gaze on me, but pretended not to notice.

For a brief moment, a peaceful silence lingered.

“An etiquette book?”

His short question broke the silence. It wasn’t really a question, but I turned my head anyway.

The boy, having finished his meal, was leaning against the bed. His satisfied, lazy face practically screamed boredom.

“You actually enjoy that stuff?”

“I don’t know. I just read it.”

“You just read that kind of thing?”

“Yeah. I just read whatever comes my way.”

He made a weird face, glancing at the piles of books near the sofa, then looked back at me, as if wondering what on earth all that was for.

“Is this what you always do?”

“Hm?”

“Just sitting there, zoned out, reading?”

“Uh… yeah, pretty much.”

There wasn’t anything special in my daily life. I’d wash up, eat, read, draw, or play with dolls. Then I’d eat, wash, and go back to bed. Sometimes I’d sleep all day. Now and then I’d go for a walk, but never far, just around the garden. Before my fits started, it was a very monotonous life.

If you asked if I disliked the boredom… actually, no. I liked it. The smell of grass coming through the window, the quiet background sounds of daily life. Sitting in that peaceful time, I almost felt like a normal noble lady. I knew it was just an illusion, but I liked it.

“You’re really boring.”

Am I? I don’t really know.

“What about you? What do you do every day?”

“Me? Well…”

He started to answer but stopped, scratching the back of his head. Maybe his daily life wasn’t so different from mine.

“I heard you were sick. Is that true?”

I opened my eyes wide. Something came to mind.

Jayden and Jacob went hunting with Father, but I refused. Sometimes I was forced to go, but I couldn’t bear the thought of killing. I couldn’t accept the idea of subduing and consuming prey, so Father eventually told me to stay in the mansion. After that, I’d just eat some of whatever Father or the others brought back.

To outsiders, I was the “sickly young lady.” There was a time I really was sick, but now it felt like a distant memory.

“I heard you can’t go outside much because you’re sick. That you always stay in your room. You don’t look sick, except for being pale. Can monsters even get sick?”

“…I don’t know either.”

He called me a monster, but he hadn’t seen our ‘real’ form. That’s probably why he wasn’t afraid and acted so freely. If he saw my true self, he’d find it horrifying, too. Everyone always did… they hated me, blamed me just for being born.

“But why… never mind.”

Why did he stop? I wondered, but didn’t ask. It wasn’t a pleasant subject for me either.

A short silence passed. I changed the subject.

“By the way, I was curious… how did you get in here? There should have been guards.”

“There weren’t any guards.”

That can’t be right… but then again, maybe it wasn’t so strange. Father might’ve deliberately left the security loose, laying a trap for those daring enough to enter… like baiting prey. Or maybe the boy was just incredibly good at hiding.

“You must really be blessed by the gods.”

I murmured it without realizing.