Chapter 111

She was not like other nobles, but when you talked with her she was nobler than anyone.

A confident gaze, a willingness to voice her opinions without hesitation, the drive to find solutions wherever and whenever, and an unyielding spirit. It was a charm that sharply contrasted with a face that seemed on the verge of bursting with sweetness. He couldn’t take his eyes off her for a moment.

‘I’m going mad.’

She had started avoiding him. She must have thought he wouldn’t notice, but it was plain as day. Every nerve in him was already tuned to her; it was surprising he didn’t know sooner. It seemed the rash confession had caused this situation.

‘Sigh….’

Vespera decided to wait until Cornelia got better. So he pretended not to notice.

But his patience was not as long as it had been on the battlefield. Every time she avoided him, another deep scratch was added to his heart. He moaned each night and couldn’t sleep properly.

‘I’m going to die.’

He had never understood men who suffered from lovesickness, who couldn’t focus on work because of romance, or who cried for a lover.

Now he understood perfectly.

Inside, he really wanted to cry. He wondered if he’d provoked her for no reason by casually offering to help with overtime and was now paying a steep price.

“You should be somewhat aware of what it means to be alone with a man who confessed at such a late hour. You’re still young, so maybe you don’t know.”

How could he say such cheesy things without knowing the situation. If she was avoiding contact because of that, he wanted to grab her skirts and shout that it had been a mistake.

He looked for a chance to apologize within the delegation, but she shut herself up in her room even on the ship and didn’t come out.

“Coco, everyone’s dying right now. Because of seasickness.”

Fortunately, he realized she wasn’t avoiding him but had a reason.

But seeing her pale face up close made him wonder what on earth had happened. She groaned so pitifully that he grabbed the captain by the collar and demanded medicine—an absurd thing to have done in hindsight.

Vespera stayed by Cornelia’s side, losing track of time. He was grateful she wasn’t avoiding him now and he could see her face.

Fortunately, after arriving in Yuno, Cornelia recovered quickly. Seeing her regain her vitality put his mind at ease.

This delegation’s schedule was more relaxed than when they were in the Empire, so he decided to try to talk and mend things. But it wasn’t easy. She was busy and even reunited with family who had been separated by long studies abroad. He had heard before that her impoverished parents had somehow managed to send her to study abroad, and he couldn’t understand why she was here as a cleric. It was obvious without saying that she and her family had suffered more because of that.

‘Her expression isn’t good.’

She always maintained a public smile, but because he was always watching her he noticed subtle differences.

She had a social expression, a sort of mask. A default look regardless of how she felt. People said he was expressionless usually, but he’d never paid attention to managing expressions in his life, so it fascinated him.

In any case, her expression wasn’t good throughout the delegation.

‘Is it because of the family she met?’

It was a misconception. He realized when he saw her suddenly dash out during the delegation’s outdoor lunch.

The cause was him.

Unlike the avoidance he’d been used to, her direct rejection made his heart stop on the spot.

‘…Do you hate me that much?’

He was disturbed. Depressed. Sad.

All day there was no sign the wound would scab over. Meanwhile, rain poured outside. He worried that she hadn’t returned.

‘At least try to talk.’

If she was suffering so much because of him, his initial resolve not to give up wavered. He held an umbrella and waited at a path she might take, but the thought wouldn’t leave him.

Even after waiting hours, Cornelia didn’t appear. Worry grew. He feared she might have had an accident or gotten lost.

When he saw her silhouette in the distance, he breathed a sigh of relief so loud it nearly escaped. But it didn’t last long—she was soaked through without an umbrella.

He shouldn’t have reacted, but he couldn’t help the frustration that burst out.

“…Du…ke?”

In that moment he preferred being called Duke rather than the Supreme Justice.

“What were you thinking walking out in this rain! What if you get sick! If you’d come by carriage, wouldn’t someone have come to meet you! This isn’t like you!”

He wanted to ask: what could be tormenting you so much?

Her eyes were empty as if she’d lost everything, and his heart dropped with a thud.

He thought that if her current state was because of him, he should give up without question. He couldn’t bear to watch anymore.

But she only shook her head at each of his questions. He wondered if she was denying it to spare his feelings, but she didn’t seem to have the luxury for that now.

Then he had to know.

What had made her like this.

But Cornelia only swallowed her tears and shook her head. He asked about anything he suspected, but it wasn’t those things.

He asked if perhaps someone had threatened her, but that wasn’t it either.

“…Then, is something going to happen to me?”

It sounded like overthinking, but he asked on the off chance it might be true.

But seeing her shed tears without denying it hit him like a hammer to the back of the head; the shock was enormous.

‘Because of me?’

He couldn’t believe it. She had boldly rejected his confession and had avoided him.

She had clearly run away after seeing him.

And the reason was that she worried something dangerous might happen to him.

He looked down at her face slowly again, and realized how arrogant he’d been to think he knew her well.

‘You had a hard time.’

He hadn’t been the only one hurt and tormented.

He wasn’t the only one steeling himself and suffering inside.

Why hadn’t he noticed?

Dark circles around her eyes, parched lips, wrists thinner than usual—these were the evidence of her state.

Vespera wanted to punch himself. She’d avoided him because she was afraid something would happen to him.

He couldn’t understand it, but more than that, the fact that Cornelia didn’t hate him and had worried about him hit him deeply. The wounds he thought he’d suffered healed in an instant.

‘How far will this feeling go?’

Even if he were put in danger because of her, it was fine. He wasn’t afraid. He was more afraid of her turning away from him. He was glad, even if it seemed crazy, that she cried worrying about him.

“Why… do you… like me this much? You recommended me for the employee position… sob, bought me a wig… sob… What could I have done… I didn’t even know you then, Duke…”

She knew he had recommended her as an excellent employee and had bought a wig to help pay for her sibling’s medicine.

His feelings for her were certain, but he wasn’t clear himself about where they came from. At first it certainly wasn’t a rational emotion, but he thought it had grown because they often clashed and she was attractive.

Now all the puzzles in his head clicked into place.

“Because I fell in love at first sight.”

Because Vespera had fallen for her.

Afterwards, she fell ill and lay down. Having walked through that rain, it was a miracle she was intact. Fortunately, Cornelia didn’t avoid Vespera after that. He knew what it felt like to survive hell.

‘This is enough for now.’

He didn’t want to repeat past mistakes. Vespera planned to approach slowly this time rather than confess again hastily. As his heart settled, work flowed smoothly and his concentration returned. It was truly strange.

“I- I like you.”

‘Is this a dream?’

His mind froze for a while. What had he just heard?

“I like you too, Supreme Justice. I heard you’re returning to the Empire today and I wanted to tell you before you left. I’m sorry for making things hard. My not being able to accept your feelings wasn’t because my heart was uncertain. It’s just that… I didn’t know if I could be myself.”

Some of her words were hard to understand, but that wasn’t important. Vespera couldn’t believe the reality of the situation. He had decided to wait, but to be confessed to like this…

On the other hand, her expression looked as if all her worries had been blown away. That was enough. Though he’d vowed to take things slowly, seeing her smile made him unable to contain his feelings and he hugged her. The grassy scent at the nape of her neck and the warm body in his arms gave him immense satisfaction. He didn’t want to let go for the rest of his life.

‘Thank you for accepting my heart.’

He thought all that remained was to share the stories they hadn’t finished and live sweetly together. But those around them wouldn’t leave her alone.