Chapter 33

I was so consumed by the excitement that the time had finally come and by the single-minded thought that I had to get inside that I simply hadn’t thought about what would happen afterward.

However, to my colleagues, that state of being looked like a half-suicidal breakdown, so they couldn’t bring themselves to say anything more. If they had noticed, they could have told me beforehand—what a bunch of funny guys. Perhaps because I had emptied my entire fortune just to buy items, I had appeared even more reckless, with no lingering attachment to the world.

“Is that so? You’ve grown.”

I was trying hard to act like I was perfectly fine, but I had been nauseous and suffering from a persistent headache from thinking about Iel for a while now. Wanting to cut this topic short, I replied offhandedly and turned my gaze away. I didn’t want to hear any more. But the Saint seemed to have no intention of letting me go until her own conclusions were solidified.

“It wasn’t until the survival of the Countess Lallanne was confirmed that I finally started to find a lead.”

The existence of Iel was finally mentioned by the mouth of that psycho Saint. My heart grew cold.

“At the time of the investigation, she consistently maintained that she had no memory, but honestly, there probably wasn’t a single person who believed her. Naturally, speculations bordering on conspiracies floated beneath the surface. But that didn’t last long.”

“…”

“Most likely, they lost interest and drifted away because the life she led was so simple and quiet. Once one begins to be forgotten by the world, even the most suspicious details are buried in an instant. Despite her being a central figure in such major events as the murder of the Count of Lallanne and the disappearance of the Lallanne territory. Isn’t it curious?”

“I have no interest in stories like that.”

In the first place, the murder of the Count of Lallanne was something you guys commissioned us to handle. Since we both knew the truth, why would you suddenly try to connect that to Iel? It was absurd. In the case of the Count’s murder, Iel was a victim through and through.

A victim. …A victim? Suddenly, I felt that the series of anomalous phenomena that had followed in the Lallanne territory after the Count’s death and the inexplicable events that had happened to Iel coincided too conveniently.

Because I had handled the Count’s business myself under a Temple contract, I hadn’t suspected the Temple regarding the events that followed. But thinking back now, something didn’t sit right. Was the murder of the Count truly the only thing the Temple was involved in? What if the Temple was involved in other incidents as well, and it was simply that I didn’t know?

If that were the case, I could overlook other things, but I could absolutely not let what happened to Iel’s mind slide.

“Is that so? However, all of this is an explanation to help you understand the misfortune you are experiencing now and, further, to solve it, so please listen a little longer, even if you are not interested.”

“Hoo…”

Let’s calm down for now. Since there is nothing certain yet.

“Anyway, I did not forget her existence, and a thought suddenly occurred to me—perhaps she is a Messenger of God.”

“…Just out of the blue?”

Compared to the long-winded explanation she had given so far, it was an incredibly abrupt turn of phrase. “Suddenly”? Are you going to be this unsubstantial during the important parts?

“Ah, I apologize. Because my ability is mainly used for foresight and oracles, my explanations sometimes jump like this. It is more familiar to me to derive an answer without the process. So, even though I have practiced hard on how to explain things properly, it is still difficult. Hmm… hmm…”

The Saint struggled for a long time to find the words to explain, but eventually, she expressed her regret, as if she couldn’t find the right ones.

“Anyway, if the Countess Lallanne is truly a Messenger of God, the reason you were able to return alive from the Lallanne territory is immediately explained. You received her help, didn’t you?”

“Anyway? What is ‘anyway’? You should have a limit to your nonsense. Do you think it becomes truth just because you recklessly slap it on?”

The fact that there might be a loophole regarding Iel gave me a bit of breathing room, but separately, I started to get angry. Did this psycho actually think I would truly accept such a conclusion without any process?

Of course, this conclusion without a process happened to be the truth, but I had absolutely no intention of giving her any confirmation.

F.

As soon as I opened the door, darkness seeped in first. The temperature inside the quiet house seemed a notch colder than the night air outside. I closed the door and stood there for a while. I even forgot to take off my shoes. It was late, so it was only natural for it to be quiet, but the fact that there was no presence more familiar than that struck me first. Footsteps, breathing, movement—things like that. A house without those things is much larger than one would think.

My gaze naturally shifted toward the table. Harboring the anxiety that perhaps, like the day I was abandoned, a note might be tucked under the flower vase.

Fortunately, there was no note on the table. But that didn’t bring much relief, either. After all, Iel had left me behind overnight as a child without a word, note or otherwise.

“Iel…”

I let out her name faintly, just like in my childhood days when I waited, not even knowing I had been abandoned. Even knowing no answer would come back. Like a fool.

Then again, I was always a fool.

I let out a long sigh and cleared my head.

I took off my coat, hung it on a chair, and set my gloves on the table. I silently changed my clothes while trying to soothe my twisted mood.

I lit the oil lamp. As the small flame flickered and brightened the room, the shadows of the furniture and walls slowly found their places. I followed that light and walked around the house once. The kitchen, the living room, the bedroom. Iel was nowhere to be found.

I sat on the sofa and drank a glass of water. My body was clearly tired, but I wasn’t in the mood to rest.

Iel had clearly told me not to expect anything, but I couldn’t help but hope. I wanted to believe that Iel would welcome me back when I returned home. Just the fact that that vague expectation had been missed made my emotions feel as if they were turning pitch-black and dying.

Iel. I’m having such a hard time. Everywhere I step these days, I have terrible luck. And yet, you’re telling me that the root cause—this damned blessing prayer—can’t even be canceled? I’ve been completely scammed. Since I received it for free from the start, there isn’t even a refund process. I shouldn’t have trusted that “service for an acquaintance” stuff.

Iel… Are you truly a Messenger of God?

Now that you’ve become such a being, is it truly you, Iel?

Sorry, I want to cover everything up too. But it’s getting harder to empty my head.

The bookstore was quiet. The smell of old paper and leather filled the space in the soft light, which was perfect for focusing on the text.

I walked past the entrance toward the back shelves that people rarely visited. It was a section where magic tomes and prayer books were mixed together. The classification was sloppy, but strangely, only the books dealing with the flow of mystical energy, the structure of rituals, and the relationship between gods and humans were gathered in one place.

I traced the spines with a familiar motion. I read a title, paused, pulled one book out, then tucked it back in. It was closer to checking the flow rather than reading to find an answer. The time spent selecting books like this on my own while staying at the Melas estate calmed my heart more than I had expected.

I gathered a few prayer books into my arms and moved to the section where ancient records related to them were bound. In terms of classification, they were closer to history books, but in reality, they were books organizing ritual records and failure cases left behind by mages and priests. I was reading the titles, pushing them with my finger, when I lifted my head at a voice from beside me.

“Countess Lallanne?”

It was a face I had seen at the hunting gathering. The person who was Leonis’s close friend. His name was, yes. Kairen Belosch. I had thought this when I first saw him, but he really gave off a bright, affable vibe.

“I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Same here.”

Holding the books, I gave a light nod. Kairen looked at the books in my arms and asked, “Are those all magic tomes and prayer books?”

“Yes. I find this type easier to read.”

“Aha. I don’t know much about this side of things. I get a headache if I read them.”

“You look smart, so that’s unexpected. You look like the type who would read these well.”

“Ah, is that you bragging that you’re smart?”

“Hm? Perhaps?”

I replied by pretending to be shameless, mimicking his playful tone, but soon felt embarrassed and laughed out “Ahaha.”

Watching me quietly, Kairen also seemed to get a little shy, scratching his head and slightly averting his gaze.

Even though we had started a lively conversation, we were mostly quiet afterward as we selected our books.

Having picked out books in front of the same shelf for a while, we headed toward the checkout counter at almost the same time. Before leaving the shop, Kairen opened the door and stepped back a pace. I thanked him for his gentlemanly consideration and stepped outside first.