Chapter 35

Even while walking across the city, I didn’t slow my pace. If I stop, I’ll end up turning back. If I turn back, I’ll open the door. I didn’t think about what comes after that. Lately, I’ve been mastering the trick of simply not thinking. After pushing my body to its limits, at least my distracting thoughts would diminish.

As the walls of the Count’s estate came into view, my steps naturally quickened. I already had the guard rotation schedule memorized. It was a high wall, but it wasn’t particularly difficult. I hooked my hands onto the neighbor’s wall, placed my feet, and climbed; I didn’t even feel a moment’s hesitation. I was more concerned with the speed at which my body responded every time I applied force. For some reason, using my body felt easier than before.

There was a small sound as I crossed the railing. I paused briefly, and after realizing there was no particular reaction from the surroundings, I moved carefully once again. As I climbed onto the roof and moved across, I finally took a breath and looked down. A light was on in one of the terraces.

“Haa…”

As I crouched on the roof and looked down at the terrace, the heart that had been tangled up the whole time finally began to unravel smoothly.

A breeze blew from below. The night air was quite cool. Iel was in that cool air. She was leaning against the terrace railing, resting her chin on her hand, looking down.

“Hey.”

I lowered my voice and called out briefly.

Iel reacted a beat too late and straightened her body. As she shifted her gaze and looked up, she soon made eye contact with me. Her mouth opened in surprise.

“Hah?”

I hopped down from the roof and landed lightly, keeping my footsteps hushed.

“I missed you.”

That was simply all. Only honest emotions, for which excuses or explanations were useless, drove me to move. That was also all I could do at the moment. I strode toward Iel, who still looked bewildered. As soon as I narrowed the distance, Iel raised her hand and grabbed my lapel, crumpling the fabric.

“Are you… crazy?”

The feeling of how absurd and ridiculous she found the situation was transmitted to me, so I just chuckled. For the first time in a while, I felt genuinely cheerful.

Ah, I feel like I’m finally living.

Looking at Felix, who was laughing like a boy with his teeth bared, the thought that occurred to me was:

“What is he smiling about?”

Despite having broken into someone else’s house like a thief, Felix was grinning so widely that even the corners of his eyes were crinkling.

I was just about to tell him to pull himself together, but at that moment, Felix grabbed my face with both hands and pulled it upward. My heels lifted, and our lips locked.

“Mmph—?!”

With his eyes closed, he sucked on my lips as if savoring them, then pushed his tongue into the opening. A thick piece of flesh tangled slipperily with my tongue, stirring the inside of my mouth.

As soon as we pulled apart for a moment to catch our breath, his lips attached themselves to mine again; they felt somehow a bit rough.

“Haa… wait— mmph—!”

Felix didn’t even give me a chance to speak; he just twisted his head and immersed himself entirely in the kiss. Then, suddenly, he grabbed my waist, pulled me tight so our bodies were pressed together, and stroked my shoulders and back pitifully with his hands. The subtle movement of his chest muscles, pressed against mine through our clothing, was transmitted to my body.

My heart is pounding.

However, I couldn’t tell if it was pounding from surprise or because it had been a long time since I felt a man’s touch.

Soon, he slid his lips down my jawline to my neck and lowered his body. The moment he knelt and buried his face in my skirt, I gasped for air and quickly grabbed his shoulders to push him away. He looked up at me blankly from his kneeling position.

He’s crazy. He’s absolutely crazy. This is the terrace of my bedroom. It was semi-outdoors, and it was a place where I didn’t know when a guard might pass through the garden in front of the terrace. Suppressing my immediate shock and excitement, I lowered my voice.

“No.”

“No?”

Of course not, you idiot. Why would you even think that would be okay? I was horrified, wondering what kind of ‘play’ he was trying to put me through.

By the way, how the hell did he even get in? He has no sense of how to stop a heart from stopping. Don’t pull this crap, you jerk.

“You…”

“I missed you.”

He said that while staring up at me. I felt momentarily speechless, but I hardened my heart and opened my mouth. But before I could even scold him, he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulled me in, and buried his face in my stomach.

“I missed you so much.”

“…”

It was such a pitiful display that if I got angry here, I felt like I would be the villain. I looked down silently at Felix, who seemed to be acting cute by rubbing his face against my stomach. When I placed my hand on his black hair, he lifted his head this time and rubbed his hair against my hand.

In the end, I couldn’t say a single word.

“Here.”

Felix took the teacup I offered. We had enjoyed a brief, intense reunion, but there was no way we could have sex here, so I brought him tea as a way to calm down. Felix, unexpectedly, didn’t show much disappointment and quietly tilted the teacup. He soon asked, “What about yours?”

“I don’t have any. It wouldn’t do to leave traces that a night visitor came by, would it?”

“Shall I give you some of this?”

“Forget it. I don’t really feel like it. Once you finish that, go back.”

“Can’t I sleep here?”

“Like that could ever happen?”

“I told you I came here because I missed you?”

“You saw me. You’re seeing me right now. Go, hurry.”

“When are you coming home?”

A long sigh escaped me. Honestly, my state of mind was still complicated, but after experiencing today, I felt that I couldn’t just leave Felix alone anymore. I gave a dry laugh and answered.

“Tomorrow morning.”

Morning truly arrived. I lay on the bed, dazed, basking in the sunlight streaming through the large window.

Felix, who had received my answer of “tomorrow morning” last night, had stared at me for a while with wide eyes. Then, he suddenly jumped up from his chair, kept his mouth shut, and silently struck a victory pose. Seeing him so happy made me feel sorry, as if I had truly done something bad.

But now that the morning had arrived, what was I to do about this discomfort filling my gut?

Still, I suppose I have to return. Because I promised.

I turned over and buried my face deep into the pillow. A stifling groan boiled in my throat.

At the news of my sudden return, my family on my mother’s side all blinked their eyes in shock and stopped eating. Soon, Anne said in a regretful voice, “Isn’t this too sudden?”

“I’m sorry, it just happened that way. But I had already stayed for such a long time. I have to leave quickly before you start wanting to kick me out.”

“Oh, you. You are welcome to stay as long as you like.”

I smiled at Anne as she glared at me softly and told her I was joking.

“I know. But I need to check on my own house eventually.”

At that, my father resumed his meal without a word. On the other hand, Leonis, with whom I’d felt a bit closer lately, said I should go to a gathering together sometime. I refused with a smile.

“Young Master, you should escort young ladies of your own age now. You’re all grown up, so it’s hardly appropriate to make a family member your partner for gatherings.”

Anne agreed with my opinion and chuckled. Leonis then kept his mouth shut with a shy look and moved his cutlery quietly. Seeing a side like that makes me think he takes exactly after my father. There’s no denying he’s his son.

After finishing breakfast, I left the Melas estate immediately and headed home. Leaving behind all my flashy attire and expensive jewelry at that house, I boarded the carriage as my usual self.

“I’m back.”

Felix, whom I’d naturally expected to be waiting at my house, was nowhere to be seen for some reason. Looking around the quiet living room, I set down my small bag and the sword I’d won as a prize on the floor. The scabbard hit the floor with a dull thud.

What, is he out? He seemed so happy yesterday, I’d expected him to be waiting in full-on sexual preparation mode.

Of course, it’s a bit troublesome even if I wanted such a thing nowadays. My emotions are oscillating between polar extremes, and my head is noisy.

“Haa…”

My mental energy is a complete mess. It felt like my soul had been slammed into the floor. Still, it hasn’t reached the point where I doubt myself, so I’m within a dangerously safe range. I haven’t lost myself, and I know exactly who is at the destination of my true heart. So it was okay. For now.

Knowing that there was no one there, I opened the bedroom door and checked inside just in case. I pouted automatically at the sight of the empty bedroom.