Chapter 5

Eating together, resting together, sleeping together. He wanted to do everything in the day with me. Anyone watching would mistake us for a married couple. It was a level of obsession unique among all the men I’d been with, to the point where I was slightly bewildered.

For Felix, the inn was a place of rest, but for me, it was a workplace. Just because Yumir was a generous employer didn’t mean I could act however I wanted. No matter how much I tried to blend in as a disguise, I was, at the end of the day, an employee.

“I’ll speak to him properly later.”

“Just don’t be too harsh or pushy about it.”

“Yes, of course.”

Because of that, even when I felt like giving him a piece of my mind for getting in the way of my work, I couldn’t scold him too strongly since he was also a paying guest. It seemed Yumir was troubled by this as well, which only made me feel more ashamed. It was especially difficult because it was the off-season. If it were a busy time, Felix’s behavior might have been buried in the hustle and bustle, but the timing was poor.

“Hey, Fel.”

“Is it break time now?”

“Ah, not exactly, well…”

“Why?”

“Look, I’d like you to keep a little more distance when I’m working.”

“What? Even more than this?”

“Yeah.”

“Aren’t you being a bit too picky?”

“Is this ‘picky’? But I’m on the clock.”

“Do I bother you?”

“…A little.”

“That hurts my feelings.”

“It doesn’t mean I don’t like you, so don’t be like that. Hey, it wouldn’t be bad to turn your eyes elsewhere during this time. Maybe some exercise, or reading.”

“Then I can’t see you. I want to see you.”

“You see me at night.”

“Half of that time is spent sleeping, so it’s not really ‘seeing’ you properly. It’s too short.”

Just how was this guy raised to have such possessiveness? I was momentarily speechless and just looked at him, and Fel clicked his tongue.

“Tch, fine. I get it, I get it.”

“Yeah, thanks for understanding.”

“I don’t understand. I’m just giving in. …I wish you didn’t have to do work and could just stay with me.”

If this were my true livelihood, those words would have been quite annoying, but thankfully, since it was just a cover, I could tolerate it.

“Don’t say things like that.”

“I don’t want to. I’ll say whatever I want.”

Given the nature of the activities my “master” entrusted to me, I was accustomed to the workplace romances that inevitably occurred. However, I had never been as perplexed as I was now. The men I’d met before were all free spirits with no intention of developing a serious relationship. They generally didn’t cling to me unless they wanted to have sex.

Of course, that was precisely why I only met drifters. The meetings and partings were simple. I was a drifter myself, just staying a bit longer than they did, and since the end was always set in stone, I had never even considered a serious romance with a settler.

Perhaps that was why it was particularly hard to adapt to Felix’s behavior, but as time passed, I eventually managed to accept this type as well.

“Fel.”

“What? You said it’s work time. Go away.”

I secretly kissed Felix on the cheek while he was being sulky and blunt, then whispered in his ear.

“Let’s play even harder tonight to make up for it. I’ll give it my all today.”

I’ll make sure to send you to heaven. When I bit his earlobe slightly as a promise, Felix glared at me with eyes that weren’t truly hateful. He seemed to have cheered up.

In a relationship where the flow was clearly visible, there was no need to have high expectations for the other party, so even if things got a bit awkward, I had room to spare. ‘He’s leaving soon anyway, so let him express himself as much as he wants,’ I thought. And truthfully, aside from being a bit excessive, I didn’t dislike his display of affection itself.

However, after about two months of Felix being here, it was finally time for him to leave. He had stayed by my side longer than anyone else, but like everyone else, he was just a drifter.

I heard the direct notice while I was draped over his body, enjoying the afterglow.

“Iel.”

“Yeah?”

“I have somewhere to go for a bit.”

“Is that so? When are you leaving?”

“Tomorrow.”

“I see.”

His words about “going for a bit” were automatically translated in my mind as “leaving for good.” I knew by now that promises made by drifters were meaningless. Drifters are not people who return. They just pass through.

There had been rare occasions where I reunited with someone by chance after a long time, but I had never tried to piece a finished relationship back together. Even if the other person wanted me again, it was the same. Rather than growing foolishly attached and doing something desperate, drawing a clear line—that once a tie was broken, it was broken forever—was better for my mental health.

Felix had grown on me, having stayed the longest. So, it wasn’t that I wasn’t sad, but it was a time when I had been expecting him to leave anyway. He had stayed a bit longer even after finishing his recovery, so it actually felt a little late.

I see. He’s leaving now. I tried my best to swallow my sadness so his footsteps wouldn’t feel heavy, but a long sigh escaped before I knew it. His hand stroked my back, as if soothing me.

“It’s really just for a little while.”

“Yeah.”

“Wait for me.”

“Yeah.”

“Is there anything you want?”

“Not really?”

“Then think about it while I’m gone.”

“Okay.”

This was another meaningless promise anyway. Therefore, I didn’t place any importance on it and gave a hollow-sounding answer.

Felix left the inn early the next morning. We shared a short kiss before he left and waved to each other until we were out of sight, parting in a cheerful manner as if we would see each other again very soon.

For a few days, I felt quite empty inside. But as always, the sadness was only temporary, so I endured it as I always did. About fifteen days later, my emotional state had mostly recovered, and I no longer felt empty even in his absence.

As it happened, a group of guests came to the inn, and they said they were planning to stay for two nights and three days. Some of them expressed their loneliness and made advances toward me.

After thinking about it for a bit, I started to feel like it might be time to sleep with a new man. Once I felt the slightest bit of interest, I cleanly eliminated those whose approach was excessively barbaric or crude. Among the rest, I tried to gauge them according to my own tastes, but in the end, I felt discouraged because there was no one who really caught my interest by evening.

Let’s just give it up. I felt pathetic for trying to force a connection. I was about to turn down all the offers for the night and finish my shift when one person who hadn’t given up followed me out until the very end.

“I really mean it, I like you.”

I looked closely at his face, which was wearing a friendly smile.

Is he suspicious? Well. Even if it’s a dangerous world, the probability that this person had a malicious intent toward me was extremely low. If someone did something like that to an employee of the inn where they were staying, they would naturally be the first to be suspected. Plus, people traveling in groups like this were easy to identify, so if a bounty were placed on them, they’d be caught quickly. Unless they were completely thoughtless.

Therefore, my current probing was closer to a consideration of whether to give him a bit of leeway because I admired his adventurous spirit, rather than out of suspicion. Doing it wasn’t the problem, but…

Even looking again, the ambiguous feeling didn’t go away. In the end, I had no choice but to ask directly.

“Are you good at it?”

“…Huh? What did you say?”

At that moment, a large hand suddenly appeared from behind and gripped my shoulder firmly. Startled, I let out a yelp and turned around, only to see Felix staring at me with a terrifying gaze—his eyes showing the whites all around the irises.

My brain stuttered for a moment due to the unexpected situation, and I brought my hands to my chest as if cowering, my voice coming out strained and high-pitched.

“Why are you here… at…?!”

“Hmph.”

Felix let out a sound of disbelief. He glared at me with icy eyes before shifting his gaze to the guest who might have become my one-night stand, and said,

“Sorry, but I’ve got a prior engagement.”

The guest looked at me, eyebrows raised, instead of answering. It looked as if he were assessing whether I was in a difficult situation or if I needed help. I felt a sense of crisis that a tacky scene might break out here if I wasn’t careful, so I hurriedly opened my mouth.

“I was just surprised because he showed up out of nowhere. Uh, he’s my… lover, so you really don’t need to worry about me.”

Earlier, I was in a moment of indecision, so I had let my guard down, but now that I was wide awake, I felt deep regret. I tried to act as if nothing had happened while feeling embarrassed to death.

“Ah… I see.”

Thankfully, the guest didn’t seem to care about that part. He just looked a bit disappointed.

“If you had told me you had a lover, I wouldn’t have bothered you. I’m sorry. I apologize to him as well. It was a mistake made in ignorance, so please forgive me.”